Wednesday, 23 February 2011


We can all be wise after the event, many are experts in hindsight and still get it wrong, we can however at times be full of regret and remorse wishing sometimes that we hadn't said or done what we did. Or when a parent or very close loved one passes away we can always drum up something that we wish we had said or mentioned or apologised for, or just told them in our own way how much we loved them, even if we don't use those exact words. Many people are full of love but just physically get stuck at saying "I love you", it matters not, the sentiments that emanate from the heart are still felt and understood, there's NO HANG UP to be had, so discard the books that the neurotic and psychologically disturbed authors that tell you what you have to do, there isn't a "one size fits all". You are fine just the way you are, even your faults are just fine too. The last thing we need to do is to live in regret, it serves no purpose what so ever and it does nothing to help us go forward. Religions love fear and guilt, but they are now finding their comeuppance and the fragmentation that's going on is tantamount to a shift in the foundations of life itself, where a metamorphosis of human thought, God, science and the way we interact is all stepping up a pace and growing pains are being felt by many as they can't understand what's happening and why. Religions have played God for centuries and now the realities of such are coming to light in a way that they even fear for themselves and what they have created. God dictates love - unconditionally, religions have placed "conditions" on it to give them a piece of the action, that action is now about to backfire in a most momentous and horrific way, as is happening to Islam.

Love is the most powerful aspect of our lives, it encompasses everything we do, it engrosses the bigger picture, it helps meld friends and family together for without us being able to commune with life we become ourselves fragmented and full of self distortions and that allows bitterness and anger and ego to percolate through our whole being, which in turn gets us down. Even if we are shy and somewhat reclusive in nature, without significant others around us we start to deteriorate and our minds lose their ability to function correctly, if we can't commune with our "best mate" "girlfriend" or partner then we quickly lose the plot and become jaundiced and as we get older and often '30' is a good litmus test as our mind changes tack and we can if not careful become precious towards ourselves then forever create want lists that never ever become quenched or fulfilled. We know when friends and family love us, there is a chemistry that we subliminally pick up and we don't have to go via the American Evangelical route and stay "I love you every 55 seconds" that almost smacks of a self created illness in itself and a paranoia that generates a structured mental imbalance, which physically happens and by default negates the essence of what love is all about, it's also cheap too. It's something that Europeans just can't understand nor get to grips with either as it seems too deliberate and disingenuous.

We can argue until the cows come home with our friends, parents, children, partners etc, but where love is in evidence it cares not as we 'get over it', our emotional stance is pure human vanity and that fluctuates like an autumn day, wind, rain, sun, cold all in the space of an hour. We don't even need to say sorry unless what we did say was really pushing the limits as love understands the nuances and the variances of our tempers and ego's and anything else that we indulge ourselves in emotionally. Discord is a part of life in that we all have different opinions and sometimes a number of opinions can all be correct based upon what we think and feel within ourselves, and to some extent our greater knowledge, which must always be taken into account. Saying sorry, making gestures of warmth and familiarity all go down well, but for most of us it's already and intricate and embedded part of what we say to those we care about in our general conversation. Love isn't an adjunct as many authors on the subject seem to make out it is, and with love there is no emotional blackmail nor conditional base to effect it either. If your son or daughter was a mass murderer you can still love them even if at the same time you are grossly disappointed and upset at their actions and being in prison and cry yourself to sleep every night.

Often people just need a slight nudge in the emotional department to feel wanted, needed, loved, nothing grand but just a tonal note in your conversation can at times boost someone who is going through a somewhat "down" period for whatever reason, it happens to us all. That proverbial pat on the back, that intonation of affection, that knowledge that regardless of current patterns of talking, writing, emailing, texting, etc, 'you are still in my thoughts', for no other reason than you are a friend, loved one or what ever else, even the old lady on her own down the street, it never goes amiss. It's not soft, it's not anything soppy it's humans showing what is inherent within themselves, it makes life lighter and heightens one's whole outlook on life. Negativity eats away at our very fabric and spoils life, it dejects, it retards, it debases, it causes illness and mental instability, it does everything that's against humanity. Make the most of those around you even if at times they go off on a tangent we are not identical, it's the similarities that make life worthwhile, the differences just ad a bit of extra colour.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2011


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