Saturday, 5 February 2011

AFFECTION

It's just so good to receive affection, it feels just great to be greeted and spoken to by people who care and respect us for who we are. It's nice too to get a cuddle or a warm pat on the back from someone who wants to share their appreciation and camaraderie with us, it's humans doing what they do best, showing affection. We don't have to be gregarious or "luvvy duvvy" or have flamboyant outbursts of air kisses, even the most reticent and shy person responds to affection, and it can be seen on their face and in their body language. Affection doesn't have to have any ulterior motive or hidden agenda, and those that respond to affection and think "what are they after" are usually insecure, cold and unstable in their own mind thought process. And even if someone did have ulterior motives, one can still reciprocate and walk away you don't have to act like some politically correct underling and feel put upon, those are the feelings of morons those that don't have good relationships because they seek faults in all areas of life. Nothing is perfect in life, nothing, especially relationships, but with give and take in the right proportions and a stable mind set one can withstand any storm, those that can't are those that create limits and then wonder why all their relationships fail. Relationships rely on a degree of intelligence and understanding, not having to prove anything, you should be loved for who you are nothing more, if you constantly feel that you have to prove something or constantly please the other person then the rocky road lies ahead. Receiving false approvals and empty and selfish gratitude is a relationship by name only and not by deed.

Affection transcends cultures, races, religions, money, status, class, sex, ideologies, it's a priceless emotive feeling that's wrapped up in total goodness and shows appreciation, humility and gratitude all in the blink of an eye. It radiates and emits a presence of inner feelings that manifest themselves in the merest face moment, a wry smile, a kind sigh, a slight nod of the head, a little giggle, a stance of eye movement, all directed to one or more people, and regardless of whose who and what's what it's always picked up. Our inner transmitter and receiver are always turned on, even the voiceless and faceless stance can be read by a simple touch of the hand, a pat on the back or shoulder, the feeling is still the same, it's warm, it's comforting it's human, and there's little so more enriching than those feelings. Our attitude can at times belay what we feel, we can seem distant or aloof or cold, but over all of this is that element that gives out what we really think and believe, it's us trying to override our inner most feelings to cover up what we feel at any one moment in time and often could make one appear contrary to what one thinks as viewed upon by others. Nothing could be further from the truth, you can still be ruthless, strong, forceful, decisive and still appreciate the affection that you personally need to feel fulfilled. With the family unit it's a very important aspect of growth stability, many grow up in an atmosphere lacking in affection and it can show later on in life. But the real beauty of affection is that it's all down to you, no one else and what the past did isn't important it's all about you now.

We can give out affection to those we admire and trust plus those we deem are worthy and subliminally we show emotional appreciation to those who we deem initially are goodly souls. Whether we would want them as friends in another matter however, but appreciation is something over and above sheer friendship it's the state of play about you as a person. Appreciation is a part of yourself, it's something intrinsic within, and how we utilise it or selfishly keep it well hidden depicts who we are as a person and how we think and move. Being appreciative can emanate from the smallest of things to something of great enormity, there are no credentials that it has to fulfil other than humans showing emotions of a positive nature to other humans. How we go through life has an emotional thread, we react to bad emotions far more strongly than to positive emotions because it affects our sheer foundation when negativity is introduced. In corporate entities it's often the lack of positivity that keeps both camaraderie, performance and bottom line results from being what they should be, and no manner of courses on psycho-babble ideology can replace that of the human emotion, ever. Feel good - take ownership, feel bad, miss the boat. This feeling is live in all of us, and our feelings fluctuate from moment to moment as we go through the day, yet affection is still a constant.

The selfish keep their feelings with them, the ebullient see life as something to be enjoyed regardless and thus discard the temporary upsets to feel the freshness of what goodness can mean and do to the system, and where affection is to be given out and received. Those uplifting feelings not only make us feel good, they make us good, we want to commune with life and those in it, we want reciprocation to that club called "the human race" because if we are not a part of it, then our membership to life is not only going to become stagnant we will as a person start to feel ostracised by our own hand and then life will by it's very nature implode leaving us with nothing. Affection is like the key to enjoying our life and making it move and shake, it's all in your hands, there's nothing stopping you.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2011