MENTAL HEALTH, STABILITY & HAPPINESS

It's almost at epidemic proportions and much of it is self afflicted, it's a structured aspect of humanity that if lost will cause mayhem beyond recognition, it affects how we think and move and it's our mental health. Many think of mental health as a condition brought about by illness or (clinical aspects) but much of it is really of our own making. If we over eat, drink too much, take recreational drugs, etc, we become the recipients of stupid indulgence and negative consequences, then we want someone else to sort it out for us, so that our thought is we can rectify what we have just done by popping a few more tablets or something that will effect change in an instant all will be well, and of course it won't. How we feed our minds is crucial to the way we think, it's crucial to our happiness, and it's crucial to our stability too, if these fail then life as we would like it will be a thing of the past. If we lose track of whom we are and admonish responsibility for ourselves and join forces with the "blame culture brigade" by handing life over to others then we are destined to be zombies of tomorrow. All the dull buzz phrases "I'm stressed out", "I need my space", "I want quality time", "I've tried everything", etc, really denote a severe lack of the self, and whilst some of these aspects of life may be true, they are used so frequently that they become life's wallpaper and then we become what we have said we are, rubbish. It's not rocket science, we become so used to living with what we say we are or want but never achieving our ability to love, laugh, sleep well, enjoy, be comfortable, all goes by the board and a creeping neurosis of life starts to fight for pole position and then it all gets just so messy.

Relationships suffer greatly with self inflicted mind feeding of rubbish, quoting others smart words or statements, reading into things or stuff that doesn't exist, becoming tetchy, becoming precious (doing lots of little things to please yourself), becoming nervy, taking offence at stuff you don't like which alters nothing, getting upset easily when it matters not to anyone including yourself, feeling put upon, seeing life as always unfair, forever comparing others to yourself and then even more others, not enjoying life - just robotically trudging through it, feeling let down when expectations are not met - even though there was no real criteria in the first place, nit picking on stuff  that's so irrelevant that you've no idea why you did or said what you did, and so it goes on. Eventually your speech changes as does its tonal quality, that's always a big give away, that what you say starts to go down beat and then the drama of the statement or conversation is heightened by the way it's retorted. Indulging in the TV soaps, the magazine fodder of depicting others raunchy and debased life scenarios, highlighting tragedy, highlighting suffering, highlighting breakdown, highlighting stress, highlighting the lesser side of life at the expense of life itself and the real true emotions of goodness, kindness and love, which are in reality the biggest part of your life.

Many people get into a self motivated panic thinking they can't cope the way they are or with their current thoughts / situation and possibly need help, yet at the same time fret at the prospect of physically seeking help because in their mind it's an admission that they are "not right", which is a shock to the system. But such thoughts are quite common with even the most stable and level headed people, we are not experts in every area of life so when something looms large in a certain aspect of their lives and we can't find resolution we dwell on it and then it grows into some ogre in our minds and we then have dialogue with it. It's this mono mindedness and cocooned and insular thought that makes us feel nervy, it makes us feel alien to our current life in short it destabilises us and that highlights even the most mundane chores and places them on a list of things to do that in turn makes us feel burdened, whilst before we would just do what we needed to do as if it were second nature. It's the mind playing games and we have let it, don't blame anyone else or anything else it's our brain and we need to look after it, our mind is not a fashion accessory it's us.

Everything we ever need to live a good life from a mental perspective we have already within us, our happiness, joy, laughter, everything, we can cope with disappointment, upset, mayhem, disaster, breakdown, let down, and all the rest. We can get over it and see a good and sometimes better life beyond, even though at times we doubt whether life exists beyond where we are. Everything in life and how we live it, even if it's not ideal is borne out in our minds, no where else does it live, and if we negate aspects of life because of our own deliberations then we really only have ourselves to blame. We can overcome anything without others mental help, we can do it.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
 ©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2011

THE ART OF UNDERSTANDING

There is an art to understanding, it doesn't matter who you are, what you are, your level of intelligence, whatever, we all like to be listened to, whatever it is that we have to say. Our failure to be listened to results in a whole manner of feelings often based upon our negative emotions. ego, frustration, anger, upset, annoyance, pride, self esteem, self worth, self value, and possibly that the other person wasn't interested in us anyway, which yet again throws another dimension on the whole scenario, and so it goes on. We can at times listen to others because what they say sounds fascinating, yet only get the gist of the content as much is beyond or above our comprehension and it leaves us possibly somewhat perplexed as to what it really means even though it kind of sounded plausible. We all have our own point of view, our opinions, our ideals, our morals (or lack of them) our inbread degree of religion (which for most people lets them down in life) and we have our ideas or take on what life is all about. Our mind set, part of which has an historical bearing also attributes to how we view life and where we are, so if life isn't good we think one way, if it's not bad we think another, and if it's fantastic we yet again think another way. We can chop and change as indeed life chops and changes quite frequently. The narrow and dull always fall into the preset levels of good, OK and bad, whereas those that have a few braincells that actually work see life as something encompassing the "bigger picture" and that allowing circumstances to cloud our judgment is literally stifling their way forward and we go into a state dictated by outside circumstances as opposed to us calling the shots, no matter how hard that may be, and it can be at times fighting with one's own mind.

Hearing but not listening is the most common aspect of audible communicational failure, we only want to hear what we want to hear the rest is almost automaically filtered out for whatever reason.Often because it doesn't resonate with our own point of view or that perhaps we haven't acheived the level of understanding that the other person has therefor we put up blocks to counteract it all, or worse still we emotionally respond to it. There's nothing wrong with a heated debate, it often confirms to ourselves our own conviction as to what and how we think on a certain subject, and what the other person says just cements those thoughts as we see trivia trying to make headway as opposed to real substance. However we have to be mindful that we are not always right and even if we are right that the other person has a right to a point of view, even if it transpires that their view is totally "out of bed" and full of stilted emotion, incorrect substance and very pedestrain, we are not here to put others to rights it's best they do it on their own. Our views of topics depending upon the actual content of same can vary enormously depending upon how we feel at any one time, we should only engage in conversation of merit if we know we are going to be active and not subjective in everything pertaining to it, otherwise there will be clashes after the first 30 seconds, change the subject anything or get off the line via an excuse, do it for you.

At times we have a strong mind set based upon our current ideological thinking, this sometimes gives us impetus but at the same time can cloud our judgment it's a fine balance and we must be aware that others may not share at all our overall way of thinking, and our skill at communicating with many is that we say what is expedient to say otherwise it would all fall on deaf ears. Communing with others is a skill, it's an art form, sometimes it's easy, other times we have to be more deliberate because those who want to talk to us are good and genuine people and despite the fact they are not always on our wavelength need due respect and treatment it's what life is all about. To stand on "I am who I am" smacks of selfishness and patheticness of a great magnitude, you can be who you are all you like to the world in general but if you expect others to respect you you must do likewise to them otherwise you will be a self created outcast who is also a miserable sod too. Seeing beyond superficiality at times can generate internal strife as it's hard to quell it and speak in softer rounder tones so that others can equally commune and not feel alienated or spoken / talked to/at in a conversation. But those who can 'see' and 'understand' the bigger picture will understand this and be ready to automatically switch modes like linguists do in translating without much of a bother and thus be proficient speakers taking all in and with precision adequately saying what it pertinent to those listening.  

Understanding who we are and those we come into contact with is essential otherwise we will wend our merry way in life on a tangent only understood by ourselves and then wonder why disord and lack of events and substance never comes our way. Trying to get your point over at all costs is folly, if others sought it they would generate a gap and a point in the conversation for it to happen, so fighting to equal a conversation where your input as a speaker rather than a listener is all too evident tells you that you need to move on, go elsewhere, and somewhere where your opinion is respected, even if it's wrong.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2011

TELLING THOSE AROUND YOU HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU

We can all be wise after the event, many are experts in hindsight and still get it wrong, we can however at times be full of regret and remorse wishing sometimes that we hadn't said or done what we did. Or when a parent or very close loved one passes away we can always drum up something that we wish we had said or mentioned or apologised for, or just told them in our own way how much we loved them, even if we don't use those exact words. Many people are full of love but just physically get stuck at saying "I love you", it matters not, the sentiments that emanate from the heart are still felt and understood, there's NO HANG UP to be had, so discard the books that the neurotic and psychologically disturbed authors that tell you what you have to do, there isn't a "one size fits all". You are fine just the way you are, even your faults are just fine too. The last thing we need to do is to live in regret, it serves no purpose what so ever and it does nothing to help us go forward. Religions love fear and guilt, but they are now finding their comeuppance and the fragmentation that's going on is tantamount to a shift in the foundations of life itself, where a metamorphosis of human thought, God, science and the way we interact is all stepping up a pace and growing pains are being felt by many as they can't understand what's happening and why. Religions have played God for centuries and now the realities of such are coming to light in a way that they even fear for themselves and what they have created. God dictates love - unconditionally, religions have placed "conditions" on it to give them a piece of the action, that action is now about to backfire in a most momentous and horrific way, as is happening to Islam.

Love is the most powerful aspect of our lives, it encompasses everything we do, it engrosses the bigger picture, it helps meld friends and family together for without us being able to commune with life we become ourselves fragmented and full of self distortions and that allows bitterness and anger and ego to percolate through our whole being, which in turn gets us down. Even if we are shy and somewhat reclusive in nature, without significant others around us we start to deteriorate and our minds lose their ability to function correctly, if we can't commune with our "best mate" "girlfriend" or partner then we quickly lose the plot and become jaundiced and as we get older and often '30' is a good litmus test as our mind changes tack and we can if not careful become precious towards ourselves then forever create want lists that never ever become quenched or fulfilled. We know when friends and family love us, there is a chemistry that we subliminally pick up and we don't have to go via the American Evangelical route and stay "I love you every 55 seconds" that almost smacks of a self created illness in itself and a paranoia that generates a structured mental imbalance, which physically happens and by default negates the essence of what love is all about, it's also cheap too. It's something that Europeans just can't understand nor get to grips with either as it seems too deliberate and disingenuous.

We can argue until the cows come home with our friends, parents, children, partners etc, but where love is in evidence it cares not as we 'get over it', our emotional stance is pure human vanity and that fluctuates like an autumn day, wind, rain, sun, cold all in the space of an hour. We don't even need to say sorry unless what we did say was really pushing the limits as love understands the nuances and the variances of our tempers and ego's and anything else that we indulge ourselves in emotionally. Discord is a part of life in that we all have different opinions and sometimes a number of opinions can all be correct based upon what we think and feel within ourselves, and to some extent our greater knowledge, which must always be taken into account. Saying sorry, making gestures of warmth and familiarity all go down well, but for most of us it's already and intricate and embedded part of what we say to those we care about in our general conversation. Love isn't an adjunct as many authors on the subject seem to make out it is, and with love there is no emotional blackmail nor conditional base to effect it either. If your son or daughter was a mass murderer you can still love them even if at the same time you are grossly disappointed and upset at their actions and being in prison and cry yourself to sleep every night.

Often people just need a slight nudge in the emotional department to feel wanted, needed, loved, nothing grand but just a tonal note in your conversation can at times boost someone who is going through a somewhat "down" period for whatever reason, it happens to us all. That proverbial pat on the back, that intonation of affection, that knowledge that regardless of current patterns of talking, writing, emailing, texting, etc, 'you are still in my thoughts', for no other reason than you are a friend, loved one or what ever else, even the old lady on her own down the street, it never goes amiss. It's not soft, it's not anything soppy it's humans showing what is inherent within themselves, it makes life lighter and heightens one's whole outlook on life. Negativity eats away at our very fabric and spoils life, it dejects, it retards, it debases, it causes illness and mental instability, it does everything that's against humanity. Make the most of those around you even if at times they go off on a tangent we are not identical, it's the similarities that make life worthwhile, the differences just ad a bit of extra colour.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2011


   

IDIOTS EMPLOYING IDIOTS

The amount of creative intelligence that's allowed to be wasted, discarded, overlooked because the "gatekeepers" or those in such positions of human procurement and management are lacking in creativity themselves is forever growing. The stories levied around in the press of people being turned down by one company to be praised by their rivals is almost daily fodder, yet the reigns on the 'gatekeepers' is almost unchecked. Statistically people in certain positions may meet the criteria for conditions laid out and as such it's often down to character and possibly a few ancillary areas that makes one get the job offered. But in today's hurly burly society, creativity is becoming more and more an important facet of how business moves and shakes, the 'average' person no matter how clever they may appear does not hold 'creativity' as a salient and intrinsic part of their buzz points on their c.v. Indeed creativity in some aspects of work and jobs offered is a positive "no-no". We all like to think we can spot and see people's characters, that we know good from bad or whatever, but it's just not true, if it was our society would be more stable and all those hyped up scenes on the news that neighbours and friends who committed some atrocity and had been known for years has now brought abject shock and surprise and even devastation to those who can't believe what has happened. Similarly, we see first hand in companies people who we deal with and wonder how on earth they got their job, not that we expect perfection but glaring aspects of what they do just doesn't hold true. In some areas such as publishing, media, entertainment and many government offices getting someone to call you back is akin to a miracle worthy of prime time television coverage and possible a peerage of the realm, such is their fickle, selfish, thoughtless and transient nature, like attracts like and it shows. It's no surprise that finance companies are often the opposite trying to extract every last penny you have at all costs regardless of possible future ramifications and collapse, it's all the here and now that counts tomorrow is another problem for others to handle.

The "idiot" factor in companies is forever growing, and it's alarming too, because if companies and indeed any operation is to create then it needs creative people, it needs creative people to teach those who will benefit from creative thought and not just be recipients or robotic diktat that allows nothing further to happen with their acquired knowledge. Some of the worst places funnily enough for "gatekeepers" are social websites and social business websites, all full of "wannabes" trying to gleen information from others, tricks of the trade, ideas, solutions,(and for free) etc, and then there are those offering endless seminars or webinars and consultations on how to be successful yet they haven't achieved it themselves, unless of course you run the site and make a good living from the organised mayhem within. You never see any of the big players on social sites with regards business they are already making business and haven't the time to talk about ego letting on such a small scale. Are you an "idiot"? How would you describe yourself whether employed or self employed, being successful doesn't denote that you are not responsible at the same time for holding others down, for eliminating people below you or potential brainboxes for fear of your own position. That recruitment in large companies is often dictated by "psychometric" analysis which by it's very nature precludes creative people. Many CEO's (if not all) would fail these tests, in fact many great and successful people are not that literate but can spot a way forward where many plodders just see obstacles.  Visionaries do exist and are light years away from the "average" person. Prime Ministers or Presidents come out with prose of rubbish supposedly written or contributed to by so called "advisers" and the like, yet more often than not they get the delivery totally wrong and almost miss the emotional aspect of delivering something quite major, ending up like advertising a great get away holiday as a wet weekend in winter.

There exists a substantial workforce who have between them an almost nuclear mind capability and boldness, full of vim and vigour, excitement, solutions, ways forward, creative options of enormous merit, complete overhaul capabilities and significance in what appears to be for many troublesome and burdened market segments and negative forces, yet the "gatekeepers" and those "politically correct morons" can't see for looking so ingrained in their own cocooned world of nothingness and abject small minded banality. Religious organisations are full of useless 'gatekeepers', they thrive on naivety, they thrive on old ways, they thrive on lack, they thrive of fear, they thrive on corruption, they thrive on pseudo but deceitful piety, they hold back, they lack everything that their God is supposed to bring, such as love, freedom, harmony, choice, compassion, and instead fill it with hatred, killing, subversion and inequality and self generated pomp. Governments are not far off, where many would not be employed in a commercial establishment with such dowdy mentalities and bureaucratic "I know my rights" attitudes. Even large companies fail by seeking creativity, killing it off when presented with it, then seeking consultants or boutique companies who have employed the self same people who they have turned down  to do the self same job at four times the cost.

For those who feel frustrated, isolated (if you are isolated you've made yourself feel that way), out on a limb, different from the general consensus of opinion creatively speaking, finding it hard to find a niche, then create one. It's easier said than done, but no one is going to do it for you, and whilst your creativity may not lend itself to an entrepreneurial aspect, just do it anyway, no matter how hard it is, the journey will benefit your mentality, even if you have to join 20 social business sites and see all the same people peddling their same wares and stories, you can see above all of that, so just take it as 'par for the course'. Out there someone wants you even needs you, don't let the idiots or financial vampires dampen who and what you are because you won't play ball with their rules, you have your own stick to them. It's when it all seems just so enormous that breakthroughs arrive in abundance often unseen until one has already embarked upon it. Smile at the idiots, they are not all bad people, it's just that they are limited in what they can see and are self divisive thus you are not in view, they can't help it. A good heart at all times helps win the day, the moment you become jaundiced you have lost the plot, respect yourself for that win - win event to arrive.   

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE"E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2011

THE RITUAL OF LIFE

Asking people as to whether they are happy or not always brings a slow response followed by a somewhat brief yet quick analysis based upon how they currently feel, what mood they are in, how life is, who they are speaking to and why they have been asked such a question in the first place,etc. Followed again by a brief but very sharp 'reality check' as to what their answer is going to be, most people tend to veer on something from "yes, I'm OK, to yes I'm happy - ish" which is intermingled with various body language movements and facial expressions or contortions together with a variable but sober tonal quality and perhaps a few sighs too to demonstrate that what they have just said is really a facade to the truth. It's no different on the phone either, we still communicate those responses via a subliminal interpolation of nuances and tonal gestures. Not that we are unhappy or that perhaps life is that bad, but yet again how we think and feel is down to our perceptions of life and that can cloud the way forward throughout all our lives. Some people indeed go through life hypothesizing and in the process missing the very essence of life itself and have to formulate excuses as to why they can't move forward when others who seemingly do little but zoom onwards. It's this eternal 'digging' in to explanations that throws up a myriad of unsolvable solutions, many of which will however come to fruition or will be answerable only through the echelons of time itself. The only way one can ever move forward is to look at the bigger picture, even if the dissemination of the minutiae throws up both intangible and evidential information that has consequences of an unsavoury nature, life's always had those facets, and everything in its place and time. The bigger picture rules, for that is where one can manipulate and move and shake with much more ease, and at the same time commune with those who can make the 'journey' far easier and more accessible than living in the substrates of others tabulations and diatribe, no matter how interesting and plausible it may be. What some know and understand in context is at times not only illuminating to others as they feel they have stumbled upon "the real truth" what is does denote is that our vast knowledge of the bigger picture is really minuscule and if taken out of context can be our Achilles heal by default.

Days come, days go, months come and go, years come and go, and where does that leave us, have we moved on substantially or just gained more information and piled on more excuses as to why we are standing still or that the time isn't right or whatever it is we throw into the explanation field. Evolution and progress do not run concurrently and it's only those that create a positive environment in all areas that can command their respective success, life is more than knowledge it's a complexity of application too and that in itself is a field of understanding human nature rightly or wrongly and not hypothesising on what is correct or not, things work the way they do go with it or be left behind, the choices are very clear and endless models identifying this are more than evident all around us. We are not isolated human beings whether we have great aspirations or not, we are not alone, alone-ness is what we create for ourselves and sometimes it's our own inability and failings that keep us there and not allow us to translate what we have into a more palatable form to commune with others and access a better quality of life. With telecommunications today we can see, hear, attend global on-line conferences on any of our chosen subjects, we can get invigorated, enthralled, enlightened, aroused, elevated, excited, uplifted, informed and finish off with a feeling that we are part of a very special community who "understands" the subject matter discussed. But two things come clear from such attained knowledge. The first is the emotional aspect that leads us often into an area of both elation and disenchantment, that we are hearing from so called "like minded" people - gives a warm but false sense of purpose, and then what we have heard throws what we know into another light or dimension, in reality this could happen every day based upon what's out there and what little we really know. Secondly it can belittle what we do know no matter how limited that is and throw us off our own pathway and our mind then forms extrapolations and hypothesis and ideals that are all totally unworkable and unpractical. Reality makes things work, smart rhetoric doesn't.

Our daily lives are in fact who we are, whether we aspire to that or not or feel that we are two different people in that we work at what we do and then after that we are someone else doesn't hold water. We can only be who we are 24/7 and until life radically changes we will be on the treadmill of our mind set and anything else we think about. There is an urgent need to give solubility and freshness in what we do or say and in whom we meet, vibrant thoughts need vibrant thinkers and not those one has to continually repeat life states just to make conversation, often the zany and "off key" are those that allow mental stimulus to find a pathway of higher thinking even if at times conversations differ and even becomes discordant. It's this dichotomy of interstitial thought that dictates how we picture our thoughts and overrides the mundanity of mediocrity and small minded emotional clap trap that can often cause a 'downness' and frustration in our own thought process and heighten those feelings of temporary 'isolation' too. The "dullness" that at times can pervade us does alter our mind perceptions about people, life, things, etc, and until we look at the bigger picture and really do understand that most people rich or poor do make an effort to better themselves, how it materialises varies enormously, but the quest for that position in life is a truism of humanity. If we are to make a difference in what we do, and hopefully what we do has a real purpose over and above our own perceptions of our daily life, then we need to be part of life and not scurrying around at the periphery wondering where to find the entrance, then when we get there find that that entrance is closed for refurbishment and we have to go back from whence we came. Our daily life is down to us, if we are happy with our lot fine, if not then it's only us that can change it, no theories, no subversive thoughts, no barriers of others, it's down to us.    

For more : http://www.thelifedoctor.info/
FREE "E" Book : http://www.the-alchemy-of-life.com/
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2011

WHO ARE YOU ?

If someone put the question to you, "Who Are You?" how would you answer, possibly like many people with that instant response of "ermm", which usually indicates that you are trawling your mind for something to say, rightly or wrongly for anything that sounds almost plausible and not corny. But it's important that we know who we are, because if we don't know then what are we doing with our lives, where are we going, or are we just following a thread that's in our minds of where we would ultimately like to be based upon lots of spurious parameters and situations. Of course the bottom line of who we are has many angles, it encompasses who we are as a character - which in itself has many facets and substrates, it incorporates our thinking and desires and wants too - real or imagined, which is important for without those we are basically aimless. And it incorporates almost holistically everything else that we have touched upon in life including family, friends, likes, dislikes, aptitudes, love, and the little nuances that make who we are and different from everybody else. But it still begs the question "Who Are We?", other than a carbon based entity made up of over 80% water with sentient capabilities, and with sentient capabilities comes individuality and with individuality comes creativity and that leads to development and progression of the species and that in turn leads to an evolution of its own making. It's only when religion comes into play (Not God - religion) that some societies fall behind and become backwards as is evident today in all the religiously controlled countries, where anything new and advanced is bought in from those countries that allow freedom and creativity. The "darkness exists in life".

But how would you describe yourself and where would you start? If I were to describe myself I could start by saying I'm tall dark and handsome with a fiery Wit, intelligent (humour me please), adventurous nature (I've been around the world endless times and have a pilot's licence and martial art black belt) and love meeting people and seeing what makes them tick. Indeed all my writings on emotions have come from this premise of global knowledge, and I bring this to the fore on my many radio programmes. I love just about all foods and drink, like challenging traditions and cultures that enslave and hold people back, putting religions on the spot and asking why they have so many opt out clauses to allow them to function when God has none, he's all around all the time, and if you don't believe in God then you're dust. I like to think I'm kind, but then I write about what constitutes a kind person and many other people call themselves kind but it's just so far from the truth. So we end up with both objective and subjective descriptions, tall, dark, possibly handsome, (I am really) then the rest is all subjective and can vary depending on how they relate to others and situations and indeed others perceptions. I see comedians on television that make me go cold, yet they are billed as the best thing since sliced bread, at the same time I have a laugh every day with friends and family all of whom can see the funny side of everything, those are the people I mix with, I can't stand dull people. Oh and yes, I'm not in any shape or form politically correct, that's like a red rag to a bull, stand clear, politically correct morons are life's greatest losers in fact they area embarrassment to humanity. But apart from saying a little about me most of which is unimportant as I contribute nothing to the lives of billions of people even though many buy my books and like my radio programmes, what does it say about me?

Of course you can do the "marketing thing" and wax lyrical about one's virtues and attributes but that's no guarantee that you will be liked or like whoever it is or indeed that they they are honest and stable either or that their character is compatible with yours, and if it isn't then no matter how nice they are you just don't want to know. You can top a list of bullet points and these would form some kind of mental picture to help fill in the gaps if you already had a picture or viewing. But everything is just so relative, we have a very profound way of describing people to friends, it always starts with the emotional aspect, "Oh he's really nice" or "She's a lovely lady - you'll like her" and without seeing the person or knowing anything about them you are already warming to the description, the rest just pads out the picture. Similarly, if someone was described as "He's a real blaggard" or "she's bitchy" then no matter what follows you are completely sceptical about further description until at least you have been proven wrong, and you may never allow that to happen, and be wrong for not allowing it to be so.

So who are you, what you look like is that important? What you are - status in life, your background credentials and achievements, even if applaud able does it form who you are? Your character, that's what most people will pick up on and view you by, or is it a combination of all those, because most people will not interact with all those facets at any one time, and whilst you may have an impressive pedigree in life it's still you're character that will interact with others and that says a lot. If I'm tall dark handsome and fabulous, does it really matter if I'm going to perform life giving surgery on you, it's what I can do nothing else matters. I could be a pop idle and yet find it hard to string a whole sentence together, let alone keep a conversation going for a couple of minutes, and as for general knowledge - what's that? No matter who you are it's important to know your the facets of yourself and not hide behind illusory aspects that you think you are something you are not. Mean people never think they are mean and talk about generosity, yet generous people never say a thing, we do at some stage almost upstage ourselves and carefully listening to what people say, even on the phone will very soon ground and establish who they really are which will counteract their vocal stance. It's easier to be open about yourself and honest that way you will neither sell your self short nor cause disillusionment with others which if that happens is very sad.

Your friends and family will know who you are even if they can't really tap in to your inner thoughts and feelings, so it's good to be "at one" with whom you are and acknowledge your good points, bad points (although you don't have to broadcast them) and areas in between that you would dearly like to expand upon and grow. You can initially fool or hoodwink people at the start, but after a while the real you comes out and that's the real litmus test as to whether you can literally "cut the mustard" or go into a nosedive. So many people falsify their self abilities, get a position then six months down the line start suffering from stress or even worse have time off for stress. Find out what you would say if someone asked you to describe yourself straight off, forget being embarrassed and feeling selfish as it's "all about me", just say what you are and how you look, you know all the answers and get them into a short mental paragraph, you'll be amazed at how you sound to yourself.

For more : http://www.thelifedoctor.info/
FREE "E" Book : http://www.the-alchemy-of-life.com/
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2011

TAKING OWNERSHIP

Many people in life are experiencing problems with just living throughout each day, they seemingly come up against bad service, problems with organisations, transport, and whatever else one comes into contact with. And yes, there are problems in all sectors and as long as shoddy management exists the communicational problems won't go away or even be reduced. Having said that life doesn't single anyone out for any particular reason, life has better things to do than bother with individuals because life is holistic and encompasses many areas that are even above and beyond what we think or even care to think about. As individuals we have the personal freedom to live our lives the best way we can, with the exception of those who live in religiously controlled backward countries, but for the rest our lot is what we make of it. Our mind set is ours it's no one elses and regardless of how we were brought up or our background or what happened to us in the past or anything else we are living where we are today and what exists tomorrow is based upon today's efforts. Wandering around in life fuelled with anger which many people are is a pre-curser to a downfall of your own making and a situation where life's peaks are always toppled with very low lows. Taking ownership of life is actually a liberating experience as it doesn't rely on others or situations to provide inner feelings of value, you provide the inner feelings yourself and thus are in direct control of yourself despite any setbacks and upheavals that may pop up. The opposite of taking ownership is the pathetic and ever increasing "blame culture" syndrome, where everyone admonishes responsibility because they are lazy, brain dead or greedy or selfish and when things don't go according to plan start an immediate winging campaign. The irony and indeed truth when it comes to the 'blame culture' aficionados is that they are all predominantly failures in life, giving little if anything of themselves and just taking what they can at any opportunity. What they do give is always in direct relation to what they receive in whatever form, financial, adulation and the "all about me" syndrome.

Taking ownership allows one to see the "bigger picture" which is life as it is and in the raw, it assimilates the rough with the smooth, the pleasant with the not so pleasant, and it dictates an inner compassion that allows one to see the frailty of others and the shortcoming of those that both know no better or possible have less education and understanding of life themselves. By not taking on board anger, greed, jealousy, it allows the mind to be more creative and responsive as it's not bogged down in minutea of what's not important. Those that dwell on the little things that go wrong usually have a weak emotional base and swing from profuse excitement to anger within seconds and then allow ego and rage to subsume their auto-pilot mode eventually making them feel exhausted and run down and then upset with life and those within it, they are their own worse enemy by far. Friendship with such people can always be on a knife edge, it's good whilst they are stable but once they lose it, then an hysterical version of "all about me" ensues, which can be most unpleasant. Taking ownership is a key position in leading a life of better value and quality, it's always full of hope and real love, for real love cuts straight through the detritus and fog, like a hot knife through butter, and has no preconceptions nor illusions of which version of the truth one rests upon, there is but one version and that's the reality of the truth itself. Many people like religions add their own bit of pomp and thought to 'what love is about' love is relatively simple but they make it complex and sound grand to be extra plausible, whereas it's far from it as it leads to self delusional thoughts and frequent upset.

To achieve something or do something it's us that has to take the first step, then the second and so on until we get to a situation where we walk the walk and talk the talk, we can't hide behind subterfuge or PR or smart political or media prose as those are shallow and debased, we have to provide a solid function as to whom we are and that will then generate credibility. Being true to ourselves allows others to do what they need to do rightly or not and be relatively untouched in what we are wanting to do or achieve.  If we are forever over reactive to rude, gruff, ignorant, stupid or just plain ignorant people we almost debase ourselves and become as they are, it doesn't mean we have to put up with second best or indeed shoddy service as we can complain, but launching into a failed Hollywood drama scenario, even in the mind places you as some unstable creature of misplaced self worth. After all what we create in our minds needs a place to go, it needs resolution, and if anger is present it results in stress then ill health and so it all goes on until we become very sensitive and very touchy and very needy. And whilst we may think these traits are commendable, just and almost "arty" they are dark and satanic and will eat away at your inner being until real happiness will become illusive and a dream or aspiration that will never be fulfilled, or others will never ever come up to expectations. Taking ownership allows one to sit back and listen or see what others are doing or saying without being drawn in, and also it formulates base questions which are fundamental to how you proceed and not how someone else would like you to proceed, this at times causes a little friction but only because others don't get their way, not because you are necessarily wrong.

For more : http://www.thelifedoctor.info/
FREE "E" Book : http://www.the-alchemy-of-life.com/
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2011



     

THE END OF THE RIDE

How many people are ever prepared for the inevitable or whatever crosses their pathway without prior warning? We are all different and cope differently with regards the self same thing, often our culture, religion, upbringing has an input as to our thinking or in many cases lack of it. Coming to terms with aspects of life can not only be shattering it can be life changing too, and for some it's a step almost too far. Bereavement, financial loss, health, relationship breakdown, friendship breakdown, losing your job, having an accident, being mugged or assaulted, robbery, fire, the list in endless and what it means to each and everyone of us is very personal. But what we must always understand that every second we are on planet earth time is literally ticking by, we owe it to ourselves to live the best way we can, and that has nothing to do with anyone else, nor are comparisons a worthy litmus test or gauge as to where we are or what we do. In the grand order of things nothing is in isolation, it's just that when something of great enormity happens to us we override the possibilities or potential of what could be thereafter. When bereavement hits us, our partner dies or something similar, we rarely want to see what options lie ahead for fear of it being disrespectful or not very nice or ungodly or callous and cold, but it's far far from that stance, life is ONLY for the living. And where REAL love comes into play - and you would be amazed at the difference between real love and "comfort love" the deceased would not wish you to be unhappy after they had passed on, with real love they would wish you to be happy, happy, happy, happy, and if you don't think that way then there is something wrong with you, your thoughts, your relationship, your love, your religion (and  religion has little to do with God), and respect for yourself. Religion has repressed people for centuries and held them back to the point that many fear aspects of life and live below acceptable standards. Every religiously controlled country is unstable and has massive enforcements to keep a dictatorial stance, (all under the name of religion) but in reality it's the few controlling the many, what you believe is between you and God NO ONE ELSE, not the government nor society.

Our thoughts about life fluctuate between how we are currently living and how we see ourselves, so we need to be real in this respect for if we veer off into areas of fantasy we will always live below our own expectations, even if our standard is currently relatively high. Adjustment in life is also something we need adapt to and stop the endless comparisons of how life was and how it is now, even if at times it turns out even better, which often happens. Many a bad scenario has a positive outcome, we must never lose sight of greater potential that we can't see or don't want to see for feeling unworthy of or from a lack of self esteem. There are few reversible situations in life because we can't ever turn the clock back, life presents itself in a different way as our 'mind set' changes and as we are mentally challenged en-route and thus see things from a different perspective and from a different time line. Our future thoughts are also re-aligned and that has a lot to do with our stability and how we physically live. How we as individuals see life has a bearing on what makes us tick, if we follow that 'love walk' and see 'happiness' as something that we are in charge of then we have a head start above the rest who seek to find love and happiness in others or situations, and thus rarely ever get anywhere except fed up and jaundiced. The end of one thing is always the beginning of something else, even though the new event may be totally different in what it is. In science the end of one thing is the begining of something else the use of energy is transferred to a different state, our lives are all molecular in structure from how we are born, develop and how we decay it's all governed by molecular structures. Our spirit and consciousness is something totally different, something that utilises science as a medium and a structure to allow - on earth at least - its ability to function, it's the medium called the "human form" but after death there are no limits whatsoever. (Unless you are an atheist or a Darwinian and then you are reduced to bone meal and will eventually be recorded as a joke in the annals of history).

For someone somewhere every day it's the end of the road, for all of us as a collective of humans beings there is a new dawn a new beginning and new start a new purpose, in fact everything is new except our past mind history that if we are not careful could continually hold us back to try and show us that nothing has changed, but that's all a lie, it cannot be the same even if the differences are minuscule because time has moved on. Stunting our growth and future with sad and disgruntled mind sets, deep sighs and self pity will only lead to enhanced upset and despondency, it will be our self created downfall that will firmly fix us to the present and stifle the opportunities and availabilities that life has in store for us. Our narrow thinking should not let potential be underestimated, after all what is 'out there' is beyond our comprehension and success and happiness is always a positive option if we don't allow 'religion', ignorant people around us, the pathetically negative media, and the rest to influence how we think and feel. Our vision of life no matter what it is is ours until it's modified at some stage, it most likely will not be the same vision as anyone else's vision even it has similarities, and it's this difference that can make or break us by acquiescing to others ideas or copying others opinions and thoughts or by literally giving up and like sheep following the herd then wondering why life isn't that good, because you've allowed someone else to take over and they haven't a clue what's best for you. If we create our own end of the road based upon someone else's vision or religious interpretation, unhappiness lack of productivity and decimation of the soul will ensue. Ending our lives having contributed nothing to life and perpetuating an ongoing status quo like religiously controlled countries, always lacking, enforcing, buying from others, never developing, and at the end of their time, like a time bomb Armageddon will be a self created prophecy. But for the rest of us who have free will the end of the line should only be that of death in our earthly form, the rest will be a new beginning.

For more : http://www.thelifedoctor.info/
FREE "E" Book : http://www.the-alchemy-of-life.com/
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2011

AFFECTION

It's just so good to receive affection, it feels just great to be greeted and spoken to by people who care and respect us for who we are. It's nice too to get a cuddle or a warm pat on the back from someone who wants to share their appreciation and camaraderie with us, it's humans doing what they do best, showing affection. We don't have to be gregarious or "luvvy duvvy" or have flamboyant outbursts of air kisses, even the most reticent and shy person responds to affection, and it can be seen on their face and in their body language. Affection doesn't have to have any ulterior motive or hidden agenda, and those that respond to affection and think "what are they after" are usually insecure, cold and unstable in their own mind thought process. And even if someone did have ulterior motives, one can still reciprocate and walk away you don't have to act like some politically correct underling and feel put upon, those are the feelings of morons those that don't have good relationships because they seek faults in all areas of life. Nothing is perfect in life, nothing, especially relationships, but with give and take in the right proportions and a stable mind set one can withstand any storm, those that can't are those that create limits and then wonder why all their relationships fail. Relationships rely on a degree of intelligence and understanding, not having to prove anything, you should be loved for who you are nothing more, if you constantly feel that you have to prove something or constantly please the other person then the rocky road lies ahead. Receiving false approvals and empty and selfish gratitude is a relationship by name only and not by deed.

Affection transcends cultures, races, religions, money, status, class, sex, ideologies, it's a priceless emotive feeling that's wrapped up in total goodness and shows appreciation, humility and gratitude all in the blink of an eye. It radiates and emits a presence of inner feelings that manifest themselves in the merest face moment, a wry smile, a kind sigh, a slight nod of the head, a little giggle, a stance of eye movement, all directed to one or more people, and regardless of whose who and what's what it's always picked up. Our inner transmitter and receiver are always turned on, even the voiceless and faceless stance can be read by a simple touch of the hand, a pat on the back or shoulder, the feeling is still the same, it's warm, it's comforting it's human, and there's little so more enriching than those feelings. Our attitude can at times belay what we feel, we can seem distant or aloof or cold, but over all of this is that element that gives out what we really think and believe, it's us trying to override our inner most feelings to cover up what we feel at any one moment in time and often could make one appear contrary to what one thinks as viewed upon by others. Nothing could be further from the truth, you can still be ruthless, strong, forceful, decisive and still appreciate the affection that you personally need to feel fulfilled. With the family unit it's a very important aspect of growth stability, many grow up in an atmosphere lacking in affection and it can show later on in life. But the real beauty of affection is that it's all down to you, no one else and what the past did isn't important it's all about you now.

We can give out affection to those we admire and trust plus those we deem are worthy and subliminally we show emotional appreciation to those who we deem initially are goodly souls. Whether we would want them as friends in another matter however, but appreciation is something over and above sheer friendship it's the state of play about you as a person. Appreciation is a part of yourself, it's something intrinsic within, and how we utilise it or selfishly keep it well hidden depicts who we are as a person and how we think and move. Being appreciative can emanate from the smallest of things to something of great enormity, there are no credentials that it has to fulfil other than humans showing emotions of a positive nature to other humans. How we go through life has an emotional thread, we react to bad emotions far more strongly than to positive emotions because it affects our sheer foundation when negativity is introduced. In corporate entities it's often the lack of positivity that keeps both camaraderie, performance and bottom line results from being what they should be, and no manner of courses on psycho-babble ideology can replace that of the human emotion, ever. Feel good - take ownership, feel bad, miss the boat. This feeling is live in all of us, and our feelings fluctuate from moment to moment as we go through the day, yet affection is still a constant.

The selfish keep their feelings with them, the ebullient see life as something to be enjoyed regardless and thus discard the temporary upsets to feel the freshness of what goodness can mean and do to the system, and where affection is to be given out and received. Those uplifting feelings not only make us feel good, they make us good, we want to commune with life and those in it, we want reciprocation to that club called "the human race" because if we are not a part of it, then our membership to life is not only going to become stagnant we will as a person start to feel ostracised by our own hand and then life will by it's very nature implode leaving us with nothing. Affection is like the key to enjoying our life and making it move and shake, it's all in your hands, there's nothing stopping you.

For more : http://www.thelifedoctor.info/
FREE "E" Book : http://www.the-alchemy-of-life.com/
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2011


  

LIFE'S EDUCATED PARROTS

Education and knowledge are one thing, putting it all together in a coherent way is another. We can obtain knowledge in the form of a book or a CD or a download but unless it has some purpose or a place to park itself it's just something of potential worth nothing more. There are many academics who are incredibly learned but have the charisma of dog food, they look and sound dull, have little in the way of communicational skills, don't utilise their knowledge for anything else other than their self desire for even more knowledge and just trundle along in life almost as living wallpaper such is their want. There are those who also have an incredible knowledge in a certain field or area of life, little passes them by and as they get older they have accumulated variances on the topic and stories to go with it, yet when it comes to making something out of that vastness of knowledge they are positively downbeat, impotent and almost lost at the prospect of it becoming anything of value other than being proud to know so much of that subject, possibly slightly arrogant too, this being their claim to fame. There's nothing wrong with any of these scenarios at all, we migrate to areas of life that suite us best and mentally can cope with, our individual thoughts on whether such people could or should do better is insignificant, we do what we want and others may have such similar thoughts about us too. Often however as a form of sport such knowledgeable entities will spar with you to try and catch you out on some minor inaccuracy as a form of "one upmanship", it's small minded and banal but that's as far as these mind reclusives venture into life so little else ever touches them, intellectual masturbation is probably the height of their existence.

We are probably familiar with the odd "know all" the person that has a "so called" grasp of knowledge pertaining to a wide range of subjects, often the knowledge isn't that important to daily life such as knowing how your car engine works will not make you a better driver, and so on, or knowing how your digestive system works won't help you eat better, billions of people have managed for centuries without such knowledge. The problem with knowledge is that in the wrong hands it's almost as devastating or indeed stagnating as ignorance, it can be subversive and predictable and negative as knowledge needs to be able to grow and imagination is a crucial aspect to its' utilisation. Many "so called" learned people lack foresight although they have opinions, they often lack creativity as application isn't a strong point, and they lack often communicational skills in allowing what they know to be succinctly spread amongst people of different knowledge levels and to understand what's what. Those that are both knowledgeable and have common sense as well as communicational skills are truly gifted, the rest just have an ability no more so that an expert chef, painter, sculptor, writer or any other craftsman. A little knowledge that's put to use is better than an accumulated knowledge that's redundant and sterile and helps no one.

It can at times be intimidating talking to someone who has seemingly huge amounts of learned knowledge, but this is at times only a relative perception, the real truth is often quite the opposite, it's our imagination running overtime and thinking that someone with such knowledge must be eminent in what they do, whereas it's often not so, even if at times they do contribute to the "bigger picture", in themselves they hold no such esteem. Many people with a limited knowledge factor can do remarkably well as they have high degrees of acumen and market / street sense and this gets them to forge ahead with their product / service and produce tangible results. Life is full of conflicting scenarios, ideas, perceptions, thoughts, reasoning's and if we are not careful we can be drawn into conclusions about people and situations that don't exist.There's room for all, and all are needed in their place, it's therefor imperative that we don't undervalue ourselves in light of others or put others on a pedestal at the expense of denigrating what we know. No one is self sufficient and when we are in need of something, doctor, dentist, plumber, electrician, lawyer, accountant,  mechanic, fire/police/ambulance services, etc, it really does consolidate the value others have in our lives, and our reliance on such. We expect our water, gas, electricity, sewerage, mobile phones to be there 24/7 and our shops to be crammed full of food, we are in reality but a small cog in a big watch. If the president of our country, the Pope and all the heads of the banking industry died overnight, apart from being a massive press spectacular, which they would love, life would still go on as per normal, indeed there is always someone to take your place, always, especially in commerce, and new ideas are always in short supply. It's better to be a human being than a parrot, it's better to commune with life than live in a cocoon within it, but it's your choice.

For more : http://www.thelifedoctor.info/
FREE "E" Book : http://www.the-alchemy-of-life.com/
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2011



   

GETTING YOUR ACT TOGETHER

We all at times have deep aspirations and ideas that we would like to carry out, we also have "duties" too that we more or less must carry out like getting repairs to the home or car or some such thing, and at times we ponder and procrastinate over getting around to getting them done. Of course if there are considerations like finance and time these have to obviously be taken into account, but the bottom line is they still need to be done. How we go about affecting change is down to us as no one else will or can do it for us, we have to go about making it happen. Life is full of ups and downs and our minds take on board life, process it, which produces the effects of our "highs" and our "lows". We have two parts to our mind one that is allways gathering information and reacting accordingly and another one which  controls this side and deems what decisions we make. In effect we have the mechanical side which is literally our mind working (our motor) and then we have the control panel which decides what we do and how we do and why we do and anything else we want to put into the end result, that's the real us. Whatever we ever do comes from us, even if we choose to follow others and blame them if it doesn't work, it's our decision to have gone that route, so we are still to blame for not taking ownership. There is no way we can get away from our actions, especially the "they made me do it" or "they got me angry" or  "they made me say it" (unless you were captured by terrorists and that chance is more than pretty slim). The modern attitude of "blame culture" is really for the pathetic, low-minded, insincere, devisive, lazy and those lacking in ability, and there are quite a few around, not to be trusted, always seeking the easy option 'out' at the expense of others, life's parasites.

Our control panel is where it all happens, it's where we make our decisions and how we implement them, how we view others and how others view us, all this is fed by the "motor" side that collates information stores it and processes it, so if that's not in tip top working order and is not as slick as it should be our decision making will not only be flawed but it will produce dubious results that will not do us any good. If we reside predominantly on the negative emotional side of life or have attitude problems then what we put out will always be below par, we will by our own hand hold ourselves back. As humans we are complex creatures, never the less the commonality of life and residing in it has almost identical threads as our feelings are all the same, how we respond to those feelings can vary. There are those low life creatures who are politically correct who are always getting offended and upset and put out, and there are the real human beings that just take life in their stride and get on with it, it's a decisional thing. Politically correct people tend to have the worlds worst relationship problems, be dull, negative and be lonely more so than others, often eternally seeking resolution whilst everyone else moved on ages ago.

If we feel bright and ebullient then we have the impetus to move on, we see everything as a step towards progress, it's a joy to do it, even if that step is really a chore, it's advancement it's everything that's good and progressive and enhances the self. If we feel low and dowdy and lacklustre then even the most effective things that we do seem like trudging uphill, as there seems that even if we do this and that there's still a way to go and thus the way forward seems heavy, even if it isn't and that in reality success is but around the next corner, which is frequently the case. Getting yourself psyched up isn't that easy, although for some it's easier than others, many who are used to predominantly looking at life glumly tend to allow it to subsume their overall feelings and this habit is hard to break. Always relating to past feelings and regurgitating the past forms a descendant check list which is forever at hand and it's all too easy to allow it to appear the moment things don't go well, and then add to it placing even more weight based on current details. It's imperative that we make a conscious decision no matter "how hard" that is not to allow our thoughts to dwell on the past, then feel bad because of it, the future is where it all lies the past is just a constraint in history nothing more no matter how good or devastating it was, it's all gone and finished and the future is where we walk in to. Getting our act together is more than a 'mind set' it's an attitude about us, if we want to progress then it's us who have to do it.

For more : http://www.thelifedoctor.info/
FREE "E" book : http://www.the-alchemy-of-life.com/
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2011