Thursday, 6 January 2011


It's amazing when one talks about happiness people seem to be almost animated in their gestures as if it's something alien and that they don't get enough of it around them. But if you ask them if they are unhappy the answer is usually no, so what's all the palaver about? Happiness for many is a perception, in reality it's not, but mentally it is, there is a dichotomy of inner thought that separates what is fact and what is perceived and unfortunately more often than not neither meet in the middle. If we think we are disadvantaged even if we are not, then we will forever act as though we are disadvantaged, it's not rocket science, we are what we think we are even if it's not true. The power of the mind is amazing yet it's so often abused and misunderstood by allowing selfish and at times childish thoughts to percolate within it, the result of which is we start to feel less than we should feel, and then it's like a cascade, we go further and further down hill and still wonder why or where it all went wrong where if the truth be known it's predominantly self inflicted. It's also all too easy to get into a mode of postponing happiness and admonishing responsibilities and engaging "blame culture" that all seems to get in the way of being happy. Happiness is something that is self generated and has nothing to do with the "temporal" happiness that people get with say winning the Lottery or getting a nice surprise, etc. It's not much use winning £15m if you have three months to live even if you have the short term pleasure of buying your children a house or something similar.

For everyday happiness we must be in charge of reality for that denotes that we can be both happy, stable and see a future for ourselves, even if at times for some it seems or appears daunting, it is there. Postponing happiness is becoming a common phenomenon in that we rate happiness as a movable object and it ranks differently as life's daily challenges either get placed higher or lower on the ever ending sliding happiness scale. Happiness shouldn't be such a fickle area of our lives, for happiness can literally cause us to be either healthy or become unhealthy both mentally and physically. We are humans and as such we are subject to variances in our lives, financial, health, family, our home, outside conditions which often take temporary precedence, but it should be only temporary for permanent precedence is the onset of depression, and depression of the none clinical type is on the increase. Talking yourself into a situation of negativity is neither smart nor respectful of everything that you are and of where you are and those who interact with you. Even the off the cuff remarks such as "as soon as this gets done then" etc, the "then" bit shouldn't come into the equation because life is full of new elements that will replace 'then' for another 'then' and one will in effect be permanently in the doldrums. Happiness shouldn't be the end of the line for our thoughts, it should be part of the journey it should be part of us and if it is part of us then life will by default be so much sweeter.

By postponing happiness or making it a subject or highlight of a distant pleasure often leads to a shortfall in expectation in that it takes an age to arrive then quickly goes leaving a lowness or a void despite any degree of enjoyment attained. Also a future potential can change its characteristics in that planning for a future event may never be realised because of circumstances such as health or finance or world climatic conditions etc. So in effect if that ever happens the route to looking forward to the "happiness" experience has all but been negated and the expectation has been null and void. Whereas if we decide that we are going to look on the bright side of everything and take life as it comes, then our ability to enjoy, laugh, commune is heightened and our health bar is also raised too. Happy people 'see' benefits and positive aspects in just about everything, whereas those that don't enjoy a happiness disposition always see pitfalls and thus are part of the lowness factor that surrounds them. Happiness is a choice regardless of what one may think, sadness is a choice too over and above the odd event that may cause a temporary event. How you live your life is a choice, you are the only one to think of what you do and how you do it.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2011

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