THE VACUUM EFFECT

Whether we are gregarious or somewhat timid one thing we all like to do and get some kudos from is to move forward in life, regardless of what it is for, work, relationships, our home, whatever it is, making a difference pleases us no end. Making a difference elevates whom we are and gives us a feeling or worthiness and that we actually have the ability within to implement what we have just done. Of course life is not always that simple, we are not an isolated entity there are others around us be they family, friends, associates, and like the ripple effect on a pond, some of our actions are seen or felt by others by default. However that being the case it’s us who rules our lives not others and regardless of what they think or feel (which is all about them not us) it’s us who has to have the best interest of ourselves at heart for if we can’t do something to better our lives who can? It’s not being selfish in this case it’s actually taking ownership of what we need to do and if others respect and love us they will understand, if what we do puts others ‘noses’ out of joint then it says more about them than it does us. We don’t have to be bombastic or indignant or anything else, just go about our business in a way which is conducive to what we have to do in our own time and our own space, nothing more. Furthermore we don’t need permission from anyone to do what is expedient and right and proper with or for our lives, neither do we need feedback either even if it’s very positive, provided what we have done is with a good heart and is not vindictive then our conscience should be clear.  We should be able to accept the results of our actions, even if they happen to fall short of our expectations which happens at times. At least we get full marks for trying we get nothing for doing nothing.

In talking to people it quickly comes to notice just in their general conversation whether they are happy or not, it’s not rocket science or mind reading, it’s physically spelt out in what they say and how they say it and also in the tonal quality and degrees of reticence in the flow of conversational content. It’s not that we go deliberately looking for such underlying meanings in others conversations but we do pick it all up subliminally, and that has a degree of inner influence as to how we evaluate and think about others. Events can at times makes us more chirpy good news has that effect and somewhat dull at times as not so good news has the opposite effect, it’s our overall demeanour that overrides this that we inherently understand because we all possess such qualities and these qualities are a constant commonality within us all.  

Stepping out, going forward, pushing the envelope, etc, all these things at times we come across by having to make a decision that’s outside our comfort zone, it makes perhaps us feel a little queasy or nervous but it can also give us a little excitement at the same time. What many find daunting is that if they make a decision that means moving forward or stopping something that has been ongoing for a long time, what takes its place, and what do they do now in this new heightened place. In going forward there could be a vacuum left behind and that’s at times quite a scary thing especially if our lives are not high powered and we don’t personally have lots of options nor perhaps finances to start something else. What we do have however is us, we are more than adequately equipped to uphold who we are, where we are and enjoy the benefits of making a positive move, even if in the process it’s caused us a few nights of restless sleep, it’s all par for the course. No pain no gain as the old saying goes, but it’s relatively true in context, reaching for better often takes its toll en-route to it becoming a place of better satisfaction, greater harmony and above all self esteem and purpose. Very little of great benefit in life happens on its own, it has to be instigated and how it’s implemented is down to us, even if we get a helping hand, it’s still down to us. Excuses are for failures, the lazy and those that are all but brain dead. It doesn’t mean that we have to follow suite with others, nor does it mean that our way forward has to be something dramatic that’s going to be reported on global news it takes a small key to start a big car, so it’s nothing out of our reach to make life better for us.

Where most people flounder is that it becomes second nature and all too easy to admonish where they are in life and just keep saying life could be better but never do anything about it, that’s the most common mistake people have. Or they idealise a future but are unlikely to instigate it by saying “if I had this” then life would change, very doubtful. The bottom line is if you can’t think of “better” thoughts where you are when an opportunity arises it won’t be taken because the excuse factor will raise its head, i.e, talk yourself out of it or put others in the scenario and so it goes on.  Then there is the vacuum effect, well, if I do this it means I’ll have to change my life and even though it would potentially be a lot better it sounds like hard work, whereas at the moment I do “sod all” and just think about better things, but don’t have them nor commit to anything - well that’s really scary having to be pro-active. And unfortunately that’s also a common thought for people who have got into a common rut in life, they are constantly between the devil and the deep blue sea, and live a life of underperforming and heightened procrastination.

Most people are of a goodly nature, even if they are lazy or selfish and self centred, there is often no great malice other than degrees of hollow jealousy or something similar in those that don’t have and do nothing to change that, deep down they understand the dichotomy of their thoughts. Yet at even a mundane level little is done by many to keep up appearances so the whole “self” slips into a state or “rough and ready” and once we let personal quality slip, mind, body and spirit there is literally little left to live for, we become almost a drone by our very nature. Some who are medically restricted have little choice overall to improve their lot other than keep a light heart and open mind, but for the vast majority there is no excuse, it’s not finance lead so there’s not an opt out clause based upon that.

There’s more that’s good and great for us ahead if we take the trouble to take that step forward, there are possibilities beyond our expectations, certainly far more than we have now even if the “now” for us is relatively good. The “go” button to make any transitional step resides within us, so it’s at our disposal to press it and enjoy the ride forward to a better place any time we like. We should respect ourselves well, that way we respect others too and in turn they respect us, truth and honesty are the backbone of our being, and we need to adhere to that, if we allow anything other we soon become disingenuous and that harbours deceit and a whole manner of underhanded things.         

Our “attitude” is key to life for it shows the world who and what we are, it’s a fundamental thing as it’s a culmination of all of whom we are. Attitude is picked up by everyone no matter where you come from of what language you speak, it’s automatically sensed and how we feel rightly or not towards others is based upon that. Whether our credentials are first class or mediocre, if the signals we are giving off aren’t right then we aren’t right either. The ‘vacuum effect’ isn’t something to hold us back, it should be a great block upon which to move forward without the negativity of the past following us, we take only the good stuff and leave the rest behind lightening our whole stance in life and allowing greater joy, happiness and emotional freedom to become far more prominent and dominant in out thoughts and feelings and what we do.

The ball’s in our court, it’s down to us, there are no others in the world who can do it for us, start when you are ready, but don’t wait too long or you will fester in your own apathy.  

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2011

THE ARMCHAIR EXPERTS

Hey, who doesn't have a moan at times, who doesn't feel that certain others or foreigners are taking advantage of a system or opportunity at the expense of "the home grown lot". Where others opinions clash with your own and you find it almost incomprehensible that governments or politicians do or say what they do, or that "politically correct" morons have enforced something that should never have even been considered. Well, we can go on all day like this because it's a fact of life that these things are with us and people being people do all sorts of unjust, stupid things and pathetic actions are done or taken. We only have to see the celebrity line up where in some circumstances stupidity and self grandoise- ment is actually a credential or pre-requisite for being where they are, as are the follow up procedures in psychiatric clinics, rehab and everything else which tends to be the only support they get. Our daily news is full or "so called experts" who are often in effect journalists who just know about a subject and do very little else, hence much of the time their rhetoric is almost "stating the obvious" very few have anything illuminating or enlightening to say not that it matters because the public forget what was said the previous day anyway, news today is more of a show than an informative programme. Hysteria and sensationalism are more important than bold cold unadulterated truths, not perhaps quite as sexy but at least you get more of what you want into the allotted times and not a 'behind news desk' version of bias, stupidity and all the rest that seems to emanate from that source.

Even the most bland person has a thought bias, we all have a bias, if we didn't we wouldn't have an opinion, it's where that opinion comes from that produces the anger or placidity of our statements. Much of our opinion is based on 'what's in it for us', which is the creed of anything in the Financial Services which resides upon its' own God the worshipful God of Banking - greed at all costs. With the various wars raging around the world and instability especially of religious intent becoming rife opinions fly around like fireworks going off in the box. Where global politicians have reached an "all time low" in the credibility stakes, and governments, United Nations, the EEC Parliament, etc, are seen more as cash cows for those that walk through their doors than anything else, such is their almost aloof stance when it comes to accountability and inner corruption. Whole societies such as the Middle East are almost impotent in the global realm of things for without oil they are but nothing and powerless, no one wants their on going instability and thus they remain prisoners in their own countries battling with archaic and empty religious diatribe that's causing great unrest and holding back the progress for the vast majority of those that live their.

We are fed a menu of bias, it's up to us which bias we prefer, the one which resonates with our way of thinking and thus we choose the publications, news slots that tend to be more in line with our thoughts. We even choose our friends and partners that share the same or similar views as we feel more confident and comfortable with them in our company. Our morals and ways of living all show our credentials in the way we display same to the world at large. Social networks come up with some of the weirdest opinions about the most diverse topics, from political to social to life itself and aspects within it. Many are from relatively narrow minded people who do very little in life but share an ongoing anger and it all comes out in their statements and the language used. Anger is one of the most common aspects of sharing an opinion or unrest or unease, and how that is portrayed defines our knowledge, depth of understanding and languid ability. Even someone with a relatively restricted vocabulary can be pertinent and to the point without being rude, although some use rudeness as punctuation feeling it smart, it's not, but then that shows up too.

Most things in life are transient, they have a "shelf life" and then they either become mundane, dull, run out of steam or just plain boring. Even news of wars after a time pale into degrees of insignificance as more up to date news takes over even if the new news is hollow and has no value.  Expert advice is relative and may not at all be right and proper for purpose based on what one is seeking or requires, nothing in life is purely black and white except life itself. Of course there are people who are knowledgeable in what they do or know and have an easy way or portraying same with an openness and understanding that's both soluble and palatable by just about anyone, even if it ruffles a few feathers. Sadly the media doesn't have enough of such people so it's still down to us to assess the best we can with the information we hold and go forward with it. Most expert advice is of little use to us it's about subjects and areas beyond our control and we don't know if they are right or wrong anyway. Making the best decisions for yourself is always the best route forward even if at times you could have been better informed. But controlling life from the self is far better than giving it away to strangers, every time.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2011


  

TOUGH LOVE

One of the aspects of love is that we all want it, some even crave it to the point that they almost obliterate what it means and thus becomes an obsession. Love is an intrinsic part of whom we are, it's an inherent trait within us and we need it to keep level headed and stable, it's the only thing that really quenches that void in the pit of our stomach and has lasting results with no negative side effects. Love is abound in many guises and is not often associated with everyday life other than those who are significant in our lives. But if love were something we had in our hearts in general and not selfishly withheld there would be no wars, not corruption, nor the feudal aspects of Middles Eastern countries and  witheld freedom, there would be no banking anomalies or deceitful workings against the public, in fact the world would be a much better place by far. We wouldn't even have the current "Lifestyle" TV programmes that take advantage of unfortunate people and portray it as ZOO television for voyeurs.  However, let's get real and take the understanding that this is not the case, so how does it affect us. The most important part of love is that it never runs out, the more you lavish love on life and others the more it's replenished so there is no excuse for withholding it. The other aspect is that we not only feel better within, and our immune system is strengthened, but we get more help, are far more "lucky" and in general we see life come what may as a better place. With a "brighter" attitude we "see" opportunities, ways forward, more choices, have more ideas and generally are open to far better things than those who wallow in their own misery and self pity and thus miss out of all the good things which pass them by and find potential owners who are awaiting them.

Love is just that, Love, there are NO conditions in the ultimate version and if you think straight away that as such this version is never attainable then you already are thinking in a divisive way and that you want love but you definitely want strings attached to YOUR version of it, shame on you. Failure is almost a pre-requisite for such thoughts as Love is already tarnished in your mind by the narrowness and insecurity you have allowed to generate within. If you don't let go of the past your future life will always have elements of "second best" no matter what you do, most celebrities actually build a life of failed relationships because of this inner thought process, as an example. We all display aspects of love pertinent to whom we are, we all are different and whereas someone who is outwardly flamboyant doesn't necessarily have any more love or sincerity than someone who is somewhat reticent and shy yet could hold the deepest and most sincere form of love within. Love makes us approachable and open to conversation even if we are having an "off day" love makes us able to approach others because our motives are sincere even if we feel at times we are pushing it a bit, those we talk to can detect subconsciously where we are coming from. We should never judge others by what we think our version of love is all about, different cultures, ethnicity's, races, etc, are brought up with varying standards of "instilled versions" of love, some are unfortunately repressive because of such, but that still doesn't mean that what they hold true within isn't sincere and wholesome. And again those that smile a lot, are very touchy feely, laugh at anything etc, can be the most insincere, lonely and untrustworthy people around, to activate all the positive asapects of life love has to be involved. Ironically very religious people find love difficult to cope with even though it's the base for all religions and ironically too can be quite evil in their thoughts, the Middle East is a glaring example.

We see love in all it's guises and forms, even those scripted versions from Hollywood depicted by actors and actresses who literally act love out, and have little if no understanding of the personal depth of love or for at least any sustainable time. We see drama based upon "crimes of passion", again acted out, although very real in society, and we see religious communities with 'forced marriages', Izzat (honour killings), repression, even female circumcision, all via those that deem love as a secondary aspect of life and those that implement such things are usually third world and failures in life. Where there is an absence of love the dark side of life emerges such as in the Middle East and North Africa the Islamic countries where control is still of paramount importance and love is but a world spoken about but not used, where breaking ranks or personal freedom is dealt with with anger and not compassion, the actions depict the words not the other way around. Love is a free word it doesn't control because people don't want to do bad or underhanded things therefore control isn't needed, the moment one starts to control, love is compromised and then the downhill spiral starts to extend faster and faster. It doesn't mean there aren't rules and regulations but the atmosphere is free from religious zealots and egotistical governance.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2011

TEARS BEHIND THE SMILES

There are more than we know of people walking all around us on the verge of crying. It's not a new phenomenon, it's been here for a long time, it's just that in some areas of life it's becoming more open and not a closeted world which is cocooned in isolation. For these people life has almost become unbearable in that they have become robotic in style and live for the sake of living. We see people and even think we know them but in reality we know little or nothing of how they think or feel or indeed cope in life. We can all at times have burdens upon us which life throws a spanner in the works such as illness, bereavement, financial loss, relationships, work, or our own purpose, etc, it's all very painful and emotionally taxing, but for some their burden is akin to it being welded to their soul and as a penance they have to endure life for what it is for them. Most people try and put on a brave face and weather the storm seeking to find both hope and glints of light to get some sort of resolution upon which to hang peace and stability. However the big picture dictates, as it always does that we seek from within life for a better perspective than the melancholic approach that can so very often overtake us and gets us to wallow in our own sorrow and self pity, neither of which is smart nor does us any good what so ever. Allowing negativity to provide comfort is always bad, moody and selfish people throwing tantrums, sulking, slamming doors, sighing, stamping feet, in forced isolation and sleep for the sake of it, etc, all pathetic stuff by pathetic people.

Our world lives and moves and creates a life with our own mind, nowhere else, what we think we do with instructions direct from source - our mind, even if we at times wonder why we did or do things, it's all augmented by our own thought process. The standard sayings of "they made me mad", "they made me do it" are in effect the greatest cop outs one can have. Granted what was said to you may have caused some degree of consternation but then applying your own ego, arrogance, pride and all the rest to the conversation you fuelled your own heightened emotion which took over from logic and caused a degree of lack, which is what it is, and reduced yourself to a state whereby your emotions are now leading your motives and actions and not your logical thought. This is a common problem in the Middle East where many think emotionally before logically, hence on going problems and endless broken resolutions. Most great leaders are those that can keep cool in times of stress hence they tend to be more creative and faster at finding solutions than those who start to panic and fuss and get nowhere fast. Often making a fuss is a call for attention and the way we make a fuss dictates whether we are looking for praise or sympathy, either way it's not a good reaction to have and tends to highlight insecurity and a deeper need within us and possibly degrees of insecurity and lacking in positive leadership abilities or personal directives.

The facade that many put up is for self preservation, it's their own personal "firewall" that protects them from "harmful" or "potentially destructive" elements in life that could easily topple their fragile structure within. We all in our daily lives have the ability to cope even in heated circumstances, but when one is suffering deeper or more serious problems the reaction of the mind is to increase its defences and shield ourselves from as much as possible including prying eyes so that we can have more personal time and some degree of solace to hopefully cope better. The problem with anyone under either stressful conditions or life burdens is that at times one can lose the ability to be open and often shroud one's thoughts to an extent that one becomes almost illusive or even a little vacant with regards everyone around them as well as less observant and the ability to laugh easily. Wrapped in personal thoughts always has its consequences but when deep thoughts become a way of life they have the overall effect of creating a sub-life, i.e. living a life within one's general life and making it work too. To live life we must both love and laugh, if either are out of balance then life seems an uphill struggle and we dwell on the minutiae missing totally the bigger picture and the solutions. We can't find solutions if we dwell on the problems and that's where most fall foul of themselves then feel both isolated, under par, excluded and become tetchy and open to abuse as they radiate negative energy, it's almost a self created scenario that should never ever come into existence, although few realise it and haven't a clue as to how to cope and rectify the situation.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2011