Friday 29 July 2011

MAKING SENSE OUT OF LIFE

We all like to make sense out of life, one minute we are assured and steadfast, another we are as it were all at sea in a hurricane and our grounding is without merit and we feel so alone and possibly helpless in the enormity of it all. Whatever it is we feel that feeling emanates from our mind and our limited thoughts that produce it, it can't nor does it come from anywhere else. We can only think for ourselves and circumstances no matter how gloomy they look or appear are always subject to change, which we all too often negate that possibility by dwelling on the negative and not the positive solutions. The more we ponder over the negative side of life the more we miss out on all the positive and good things that can take us away from where we are to a better and more productive and happier place. If we are not careful we can easily get into a rut with the thinking "poor old me" and compare ourselves to others and better times and get even more depressed - self depression that is, just through melancholy thoughts and dull thinking. When we feel trapped into a reality of our own it can appear that all is against us but it happens to everyone on planet earth, and it makes no difference whether we are rich or poor, the feeling is so strong it permeates our inner self and makes us feel introverted and detached from life. Nothing is the same anymore as our thoughts completely subsume our personality and the solution of the problem of where we are and why it is at the forefront of everything we do. We have to rid ourselves of that in order to break this imaginary barrier which we have drummed up ourselves in order to see the light yet again and also rid ourselves of all the negative perceptions of "will it ever be the same" or "when will it end" and all the other stupid and selfish mind games we drum up in order to appease ourselves. As fabulous as the human race is and as individuals can be we can also let ourselves down badly and be totally fickle too.

We often hold on to concocted notions, become more sensitive to others and our surroundings but it's not a healthy sensitivity it's a morbid and even subliminally jealous one that fuels that feeling that "it's all right for others but in our circumstances it isn't" which is a pack of lies and full of self deceit and really pathetic, but it's also very common too. This mindless thought ruins any self esteem we may have within and lowers our resistance to going forward and moving to a better place which we will ultimately do. We really do have a lot of power and fortitude within us for our benefit yet if we reverse it it can work against us, and if we do that it's because we have consciously done it against ourselves, it's not a case of it's just happened because that isn't true. A number of years ago when many things appeared to go wrong all at once I thought well if I was a little slimmer I would feel better anyway under the circumstances, so I lost weight and whilst that was great it made no difference to how I felt about what else was around me. It's this mental comparison that the mind is trying to compensate and say that "it's all right" which it isn't and whilst losing weight was great, everything else is in a different league and we have to deal with or tackle what we have to do in each respective area as an entity in itself. Life is holistic in that it's made up of many constituent parts and each part represents an area that does something that needs tending to like eating and drinking, we have to do that in addition to anything else we do.

Of course life is literally what we make it, if we seek happiness or seek love we will if ever find it because both of those commodities are within us already, it's just us being pitiable and trying to outsource them thinking that everything we want or need is elsewhere, it's not. Many also have that feeling that the "answer" to their problems and solutions lies "out there with some saged person" and if they can just access that person or their knowledge then all will be well, it won't, you're stupid if you think that way. It doesn't mean that there aren't others who have more or better knowledge than yourself but at the end of the day it's you who has to walk the walk and talk the talk no one else. And whilst we can always learn if the attitude is that success is a line in someone else's book or a few words uttered by someone else then we will be perpetually at a loss as to do anything for ourselves. And no matter what great and truthful words burst forth from the lips of those that have done well, there is forever that eternal "time line". The "time line" is what they did then, at that time, with those circumstances, with that mind set, with those prevailing conditions, and so forth, it doesn't mean that a parallel course in advance with a near identical situation will follow suite to be successful because it rarely happens that way. The smart words remain, life moves on.

Our reality and the reality of others whilst at times may seem almost a concurrent motion and thought process, it seldom is, the bits on either side that we don't see nor know of deliver a course by both or additional parties to a destination ranking in different qualities. It's this self imperative status that we need to foster to be who we are and not latch on to others hoping that we can surf their wave too, we can't and often what appears really cool and great in someone else's court is far from the truth and not a tangible reality in the long term. It's ironic but in times where we feel we need guidance we get very little help and at times when everything is moving well we seem to get the help we want with great ease. However, it's our own personal dexterity in times of need and often in conjunction with our lowness that we need to fight onwards as it's in these times we grow more than usual and break through into newer and better areas of elevation, understanding and confidence. Even when doors are shut in our face or avenues of thought turn out to be abrupt endings, we are still cancelling out the wave of negativity to the extent that ten, twenty, a hundred tries is by default narrowing the field and we learn en-route even if it's disheartening in the process. Eventually that one door is open or we come across a conduit to leap to our new destination and that's what separates the men from the boys as it were, that's what makes success all that much sweeter because of the dedication to winning the game and not giving in.

Life holds no favourites, it takes no prisoners, it holds nothing in store whether good or bad, it evolves itself and in doing so we must evolve too or be left behind in a spacial time warp of old thoughts and ideas which will render us not only incomplete but redundant in purpose and constantly battling with a nothingness of our own creation. Smart books and inspirational speeches are all very well and good but it's still us that has to do all the work, find the energy, find the money, find the purpose and find what we are really like as people none of which others can help us with. Any help we do get has to be offset by what we can contribute in the main part as it's for ourselves we are engaging in whatever it is that we feel is going to be worthwhile. All around us are people purporting to be able to transform us into prized trophies who overnight will enjoy success, wealth and all that goes with it, sadly even when we have paid out a small fortune we realise that the money would have been better spent in getting our act together and not thinking that others will do it for us or give us the missing jigsaw pieces to make it happen, it rarely does even if we do come away with more information it rarely gets us off the ground.

Going forward in life must be enjoyable, if it's an uphill struggle then we are going to be on edge all the time and feeling disappointment whenever something doesn't go our way. Stress and anxiety can kill us, they can dislodge our equilibrium and throw cold water on everything we do.  We have to walk with a heart which contains love and humility which doesn't mean we are push over or easy meat for someone else, it means that we have the fortitude to continue in the roughest of storms and still smile in the middle of it. It means that when we become successful we will have a feeling of real achievement without having to buy endless possessions to fool ourselves that we've made it, even though we may like to do so because we can there is a difference. If we don't enjoy life then that's what we have decided and if we have a list as to why this is so we are already a failure in life and it's all a big cop out. Good migrates to good, bad migrates to bad and indifference is a waste of time and thus displays itself by that thought process and all that goes with it. Your life, happiness and everything else is in your hands, if you think it isn't you've lost.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2011

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