Friday 24 June 2011


Whether we are gregarious or somewhat timid one thing we all like to do and get some kudos from is to move forward in life, regardless of what it is for, work, relationships, our home, whatever it is, making a difference pleases us no end. Making a difference elevates whom we are and gives us a feeling or worthiness and that we actually have the ability within to implement what we have just done. Of course life is not always that simple, we are not an isolated entity there are others around us be they family, friends, associates, and like the ripple effect on a pond, some of our actions are seen or felt by others by default. However that being the case it’s us who rules our lives not others and regardless of what they think or feel (which is all about them not us) it’s us who has to have the best interest of ourselves at heart for if we can’t do something to better our lives who can? It’s not being selfish in this case it’s actually taking ownership of what we need to do and if others respect and love us they will understand, if what we do puts others ‘noses’ out of joint then it says more about them than it does us. We don’t have to be bombastic or indignant or anything else, just go about our business in a way which is conducive to what we have to do in our own time and our own space, nothing more. Furthermore we don’t need permission from anyone to do what is expedient and right and proper with or for our lives, neither do we need feedback either even if it’s very positive, provided what we have done is with a good heart and is not vindictive then our conscience should be clear.  We should be able to accept the results of our actions, even if they happen to fall short of our expectations which happens at times. At least we get full marks for trying we get nothing for doing nothing.

In talking to people it quickly comes to notice just in their general conversation whether they are happy or not, it’s not rocket science or mind reading, it’s physically spelt out in what they say and how they say it and also in the tonal quality and degrees of reticence in the flow of conversational content. It’s not that we go deliberately looking for such underlying meanings in others conversations but we do pick it all up subliminally, and that has a degree of inner influence as to how we evaluate and think about others. Events can at times makes us more chirpy good news has that effect and somewhat dull at times as not so good news has the opposite effect, it’s our overall demeanour that overrides this that we inherently understand because we all possess such qualities and these qualities are a constant commonality within us all.  

Stepping out, going forward, pushing the envelope, etc, all these things at times we come across by having to make a decision that’s outside our comfort zone, it makes perhaps us feel a little queasy or nervous but it can also give us a little excitement at the same time. What many find daunting is that if they make a decision that means moving forward or stopping something that has been ongoing for a long time, what takes its place, and what do they do now in this new heightened place. In going forward there could be a vacuum left behind and that’s at times quite a scary thing especially if our lives are not high powered and we don’t personally have lots of options nor perhaps finances to start something else. What we do have however is us, we are more than adequately equipped to uphold who we are, where we are and enjoy the benefits of making a positive move, even if in the process it’s caused us a few nights of restless sleep, it’s all par for the course. No pain no gain as the old saying goes, but it’s relatively true in context, reaching for better often takes its toll en-route to it becoming a place of better satisfaction, greater harmony and above all self esteem and purpose. Very little of great benefit in life happens on its own, it has to be instigated and how it’s implemented is down to us, even if we get a helping hand, it’s still down to us. Excuses are for failures, the lazy and those that are all but brain dead. It doesn’t mean that we have to follow suite with others, nor does it mean that our way forward has to be something dramatic that’s going to be reported on global news it takes a small key to start a big car, so it’s nothing out of our reach to make life better for us.

Where most people flounder is that it becomes second nature and all too easy to admonish where they are in life and just keep saying life could be better but never do anything about it, that’s the most common mistake people have. Or they idealise a future but are unlikely to instigate it by saying “if I had this” then life would change, very doubtful. The bottom line is if you can’t think of “better” thoughts where you are when an opportunity arises it won’t be taken because the excuse factor will raise its head, i.e, talk yourself out of it or put others in the scenario and so it goes on.  Then there is the vacuum effect, well, if I do this it means I’ll have to change my life and even though it would potentially be a lot better it sounds like hard work, whereas at the moment I do “sod all” and just think about better things, but don’t have them nor commit to anything - well that’s really scary having to be pro-active. And unfortunately that’s also a common thought for people who have got into a common rut in life, they are constantly between the devil and the deep blue sea, and live a life of underperforming and heightened procrastination.

Most people are of a goodly nature, even if they are lazy or selfish and self centred, there is often no great malice other than degrees of hollow jealousy or something similar in those that don’t have and do nothing to change that, deep down they understand the dichotomy of their thoughts. Yet at even a mundane level little is done by many to keep up appearances so the whole “self” slips into a state or “rough and ready” and once we let personal quality slip, mind, body and spirit there is literally little left to live for, we become almost a drone by our very nature. Some who are medically restricted have little choice overall to improve their lot other than keep a light heart and open mind, but for the vast majority there is no excuse, it’s not finance lead so there’s not an opt out clause based upon that.

There’s more that’s good and great for us ahead if we take the trouble to take that step forward, there are possibilities beyond our expectations, certainly far more than we have now even if the “now” for us is relatively good. The “go” button to make any transitional step resides within us, so it’s at our disposal to press it and enjoy the ride forward to a better place any time we like. We should respect ourselves well, that way we respect others too and in turn they respect us, truth and honesty are the backbone of our being, and we need to adhere to that, if we allow anything other we soon become disingenuous and that harbours deceit and a whole manner of underhanded things.         

Our “attitude” is key to life for it shows the world who and what we are, it’s a fundamental thing as it’s a culmination of all of whom we are. Attitude is picked up by everyone no matter where you come from of what language you speak, it’s automatically sensed and how we feel rightly or not towards others is based upon that. Whether our credentials are first class or mediocre, if the signals we are giving off aren’t right then we aren’t right either. The ‘vacuum effect’ isn’t something to hold us back, it should be a great block upon which to move forward without the negativity of the past following us, we take only the good stuff and leave the rest behind lightening our whole stance in life and allowing greater joy, happiness and emotional freedom to become far more prominent and dominant in out thoughts and feelings and what we do.

The ball’s in our court, it’s down to us, there are no others in the world who can do it for us, start when you are ready, but don’t wait too long or you will fester in your own apathy.  

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2011

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