Tuesday, 14 June 2011

TOUGH LOVE

One of the aspects of love is that we all want it, some even crave it to the point that they almost obliterate what it means and thus becomes an obsession. Love is an intrinsic part of whom we are, it's an inherent trait within us and we need it to keep level headed and stable, it's the only thing that really quenches that void in the pit of our stomach and has lasting results with no negative side effects. Love is abound in many guises and is not often associated with everyday life other than those who are significant in our lives. But if love were something we had in our hearts in general and not selfishly withheld there would be no wars, not corruption, nor the feudal aspects of Middles Eastern countries and  witheld freedom, there would be no banking anomalies or deceitful workings against the public, in fact the world would be a much better place by far. We wouldn't even have the current "Lifestyle" TV programmes that take advantage of unfortunate people and portray it as ZOO television for voyeurs.  However, let's get real and take the understanding that this is not the case, so how does it affect us. The most important part of love is that it never runs out, the more you lavish love on life and others the more it's replenished so there is no excuse for withholding it. The other aspect is that we not only feel better within, and our immune system is strengthened, but we get more help, are far more "lucky" and in general we see life come what may as a better place. With a "brighter" attitude we "see" opportunities, ways forward, more choices, have more ideas and generally are open to far better things than those who wallow in their own misery and self pity and thus miss out of all the good things which pass them by and find potential owners who are awaiting them.

Love is just that, Love, there are NO conditions in the ultimate version and if you think straight away that as such this version is never attainable then you already are thinking in a divisive way and that you want love but you definitely want strings attached to YOUR version of it, shame on you. Failure is almost a pre-requisite for such thoughts as Love is already tarnished in your mind by the narrowness and insecurity you have allowed to generate within. If you don't let go of the past your future life will always have elements of "second best" no matter what you do, most celebrities actually build a life of failed relationships because of this inner thought process, as an example. We all display aspects of love pertinent to whom we are, we all are different and whereas someone who is outwardly flamboyant doesn't necessarily have any more love or sincerity than someone who is somewhat reticent and shy yet could hold the deepest and most sincere form of love within. Love makes us approachable and open to conversation even if we are having an "off day" love makes us able to approach others because our motives are sincere even if we feel at times we are pushing it a bit, those we talk to can detect subconsciously where we are coming from. We should never judge others by what we think our version of love is all about, different cultures, ethnicity's, races, etc, are brought up with varying standards of "instilled versions" of love, some are unfortunately repressive because of such, but that still doesn't mean that what they hold true within isn't sincere and wholesome. And again those that smile a lot, are very touchy feely, laugh at anything etc, can be the most insincere, lonely and untrustworthy people around, to activate all the positive asapects of life love has to be involved. Ironically very religious people find love difficult to cope with even though it's the base for all religions and ironically too can be quite evil in their thoughts, the Middle East is a glaring example.

We see love in all it's guises and forms, even those scripted versions from Hollywood depicted by actors and actresses who literally act love out, and have little if no understanding of the personal depth of love or for at least any sustainable time. We see drama based upon "crimes of passion", again acted out, although very real in society, and we see religious communities with 'forced marriages', Izzat (honour killings), repression, even female circumcision, all via those that deem love as a secondary aspect of life and those that implement such things are usually third world and failures in life. Where there is an absence of love the dark side of life emerges such as in the Middle East and North Africa the Islamic countries where control is still of paramount importance and love is but a world spoken about but not used, where breaking ranks or personal freedom is dealt with with anger and not compassion, the actions depict the words not the other way around. Love is a free word it doesn't control because people don't want to do bad or underhanded things therefore control isn't needed, the moment one starts to control, love is compromised and then the downhill spiral starts to extend faster and faster. It doesn't mean there aren't rules and regulations but the atmosphere is free from religious zealots and egotistical governance.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2011