Wednesday 2 November 2011

WHY CAN'T I BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME? (RP)

Happiness is almost on a par with one of today's biggest problematical areas of life, Mental Health, getting to grips with oneself and life and finding an acceptable way forward and purpose so that the "hope trail" is forever refreshed a-new and full of zest for whatever is to come. Unfortunately for many it just doesn't exist and because they can't find within their hearts that effectiveness that makes life feel good for no other reason than they feel good, life at times 'sucks', it's a robotic existence full of potential hope that rarely ever gets realised and in between time ticks on by and old age hits hard without a great deal to talk about. Even those who have had a relatively full life often think "what's it all about" as one can't live on old memories but only what is ahead and when that seems dull one's happiness starts to flank and then the mind plays up. Insecurity looms large and then it's "show time" for the Mind Gremlins, those little creatures that live on our indecision, failure and all things negative. They come out to dance and boogie to everything that's not solid in thought and deed and unless we send them scrurrying back they will eventually take over our thought processes. Happiness for many is something that they know they must work on, we must control our minds and not the other way around. The sceptics, the insecure, the mean, the jealous, the greedy and the negative all have views that happiness is material and that it's fleeting, they believe that happiness isn't something one can possess all the time, hence they rarely display any degree of happiness at all and are often dull and pathetic in nature, although not necessarily bad people by any means, just not the life and soul of living. Scientists often come up with theories of happiness as if reeling off "quantum theory" and that's it, but it isn't. Knowing how something works doesn't necessarily improve the situation. Knowing how a car or aero engine works isn't going to help the ride or the destination at the end of the journey. Knowing the chemical interaction of how cakes bake in the oven will not improve our baking, it's our intrinsic knowledge and feel that makes us good drivers or great cooks as well as aptitude. Knowing why a light bulb glows when switched on doesn't improve the light quality or our experience of the light.

The self help books, new age clans, happy clubs, and all the other organisations that utilise happiness as financial fodder have grown up to serve those unfortunate and often lonely people, usually over 30, single and predominantly women but definitely not exclusively, to try and give them a degree of happiness utilising their own known and 'proven' methods. So successful are the vendors of these intrinsic secrets that the world at large has yet to find out but when they do everyone will be happy regardless. Of course it's pushing it a bit to say that happiness reigns 24/7, but our attitude towards life is something that stems from within so we really do have a degree of control even if at times we get knocked sideways by news that's destabilising. It's far easier to be unhappy because there are no expectations that we need to address, failure, unloved, doesn't happen, rained off, lost out, etc, you can't really get much lower than wallowing in the detritus of sadness. But happiness is a state of mind that we can come to terms with and that we will not be dictated to by circumstances, because being unhappy will not solve nor rectify anything, and even pity and sympathy wears a bit thin by those around us after a while. Other people have a life and it most certainly doesn't include us feeling sorry for ourselves or being morbid. Dwelling on unhappiness for whatever reason is a prime cause to thwart real happiness, like those that dwell on problems never see the solutions because they aren't focused on them so they continually miss out, none of this is rocket science it's mind application.

It's smart to mock today, to throw disbelief upon those that try hard and do well and be happy regardless, to those that give it a go whilst the rest scorn others ways and inflate their own circumstances as if they are the only ones with problems and utilise that famous saying "it's alright for them but in my case" which is a load of old twaddle, it's never alright for anyone else, it's just that they get to grips with it and get it over with. Our attitude in every aspect of life is the key outward element in how we both present ourselves and show how we think too, so if it's out of kilter then so are we. If it's negative then even those who have nothing to do with us will keep away so our chances of successfully communing with life are getting shorter and shorter. Accepting both ownership of our lives and where we are in life is a strength that allows us to define our pathway and make appropriate changes en-route to suite our personal circumstances. It's this taking the helm of our own ship that makes both humility rise within and fear depart without. It's also the base for us being happy for whom we are and not reflecting circumstances and then deciding that because it's not what we had wished we are therefore going to be miserable, that's not part of the equation anymore. If happiness is a subject in your life then you have to think about whom you are, for by default you will have made it a "carrot and a donkey situation" always that little bit just out of reach, even though it literally resides within you. Happiness is not an adjunct in life, you don't need books, courses, whatever even if these by default take your mind off of dwelling on the subject, by physically seeking happiness short term you might attain a degree or pseudo happiness, but long term it will fade away leaving an even bigger gap or void which many find it difficult if not some impossible to overcome, even though again happiness is still within you. The power of stupidity reigns out there for the fickle to forever play with. Just think happiness over everything and see the routes towards where it lies.

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John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2011

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