Thursday 17 November 2011

THE EMOTIONAL ASPECTS OF DISAPPOINTMENT

The emotional aspects of disappointment can be almost crippling in that they can alter not only how we feel, which is usually low, but the way we view life, ourselves, others and indeed our whole future. It can affect our current state of health and it can distort the way we interpret life from just about every angle. In short it can virtually impair our reasoning and our happiness trail, it can subliminally pull us down via our own volition. Furthermore we can ostracise ourselves by being glum and moody and thus others don't want to commune with us as they have better things to do than to foster an association with a person who is dull and dowdy and depressing in their presence, no matter who they are. Some people are forever disappointed in life, it's the way they have allowed themselves to become, after all what goes on in our mind is something we are totally in charge of, even for the thick and stupid, what actions we do or say emanates from our own minds. There's very little that we can apportion to others, all this "they made me say or do it" is utter rubbish, at the end of the day it's the self that decides what to do even under duress.

Of course disappointment can be self manifested, our expectations can be flawed, our idea of what something should be like was wrong, our ability to see beyond what's in front of us can cause great consternation, ego and arrogance and indeed selfishness can topple our ability to stay calm and cool and even when all seemingly goes well, many need that extra boost to inflate their own ego state in order to enjoy that "feel good" factor. Small mindedness and lack of self esteem, self value, self worth tends to fuel disappointment, as does a lack in creativity. Often when things go wrong many don't have any idea as to what to do next other than feel low and indeed be disappointed then dwell on it often. Looking elsewhere for others to introduce an external aspect on their behalf to stave off further disappointment and hopefully raise the bar so "all will be well" again is silly and foolish, but sadly there are those out there that fit the bill only too well, you could be one of them!

Respecting ourselves eliminates the deepness of disappointment, it lightens the load of discontent and it paves the way for a speedy recovery, it also allows us to see the bigger picture that for us includes happiness not long bouts of selfish depression and melancholy which self feeds on itself and produces that "poor old me" attitude. Those that make it in life are predominantly positive towards just about everything regardless of what beset and befalls them, it's their resistance to that inner voice saying 'I'm being pressured by circumstances' by "I'm in charge of my life - not circumstances". The weak think the opposite way and resort to the low "blame culture" mentality where all that goes wrong and how they feel is the responsibility of someone else or circumstances, hence they never get anywhere, and what happiness they do enjoy is but fleeting.

Disappointment can be self generated always seeking something out of reach, and whilst it's good to stretch one's ability and even commendable reality needs to be in place. If effort and in saying that real tangible effort not just an excuse worthy of nothing isn't applied with substantial thought behind it then all will turn out to be something of a repetitive failure. Disappointment can't be melded into a thought of comparing to others, or assigning greater things to the self than is feasible it can it be the "be and end all of life" that so many feed upon. After disappointment there are many other options and indeed solutions often even better than originally first thought of. The more we interact with life the more choices we see in front of us, the more opportunities and available positions present themselves to us. Nothing is the result of nothing, and even with application the statistical response is usually very low, but knowing that is a strength to "go all out for it" so that we are receptive to the positive average of our endeavours.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

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