Tuesday 15 November 2011

COMFORT ZONE TANTRUMS

Evolution over time evokes many memories for us, and the older we get the more incidents we can recall of having had to do something, get over something, get ourselves out of something, engross ourselves into something, and a whole host of other scenarios that take us way past our inner feeling of confidence and comfort. Of course it's nothing unique, everyone has done it, even if by default they've been forced or pushed into it, but they've done it. Sometimes the journey into unknown territory is just so engaging that we want to "bring it all on" and to savour the newness of experiences that we have never met with before sometimes way out of our comfort zones and in other lands far from our home base, family and local calls to friends for help. When familiarity doesn't exist we have to muster our thoughts together and preside over due diligence and just "get on with it". The flip side of this is that while new and fascinating for some gives them an overall "high" in life for others it's a step far too far and overwhelms them with dread and even makes them ill with a sick feeling pervading throughout their whole body. There are even actors and actresses who have "first night nerves" every night even after 500 performances, yet they wouldn't swap their job for anything. As people we are all different and the old saying "one man's meat is another man's poison" is very true indeed. We do tend to migrate towards those that have similar affinities to those of our own, we feel a better vibrancy and uplift, even if others have equally good characteristics but are less outgoing.

Equilibrium of the mind is essential in that we must "know ourselves", which may sound funny but many people know how they react in certain circumstances yet never realise that part of their ideology is in fact one of pretence and not reality. We aspire to many things in life and it's good that we do, but there is a difference between aspiring and ever doing or going down the route to fulfilling that aspiration. Young boys often aspire to being big time footballers, yet it's almost akin to winning the lottery as to it ever coming to fruition, so their desire then leans towards being an amateur league player or avid spectator and that for most people rests comfortably within as they meet like minded footballers and enjoy the camaraderie as and when they can.  How we react when things go wrong varies enormously from person to person, some are cool, calm and collected come what may, whilst others just go berserk and even lose the plot. Some races of people tend to be "emotionally charged" over and above logic hence they are always in such a mess and never seem to get to grips with anything. The "blame culture" syndrome is basically for both losers and ambulance chasing lawyers who are only out for what they can get treating it all as a sport for which they get paid and keeps them in a job, more than their concern for their clients remuneration if they win. It's in many cases greed over morality not that there aren't legitimate cases to be fought.

We don't have to look very far to see many of those around us who when things don't go their way just lose their cool and off they go like a battery operated robot, we can even model their emotions and quote scripts as it's all so predictable. They of course are oblivious that they have launched into the familiar pattern of response yet again and get even more upset when all around them do little or nothing in response to it all. It's a deja vu moment, and what we need to understand is that element that others seem to either lack or not be able to control, where the mind in times of crisis almost stops and seeks out solutions that it thinks others have. Others do have solutions, however their solutions even if correct are minded and modeled via their own thoughts and not those of anyone else's. We only progress when we leave our comfort zone, anything else is just playing or toying with potential and not putting it into action. Being yourself and not allowing  emotions to control you, but you control your emotions is a key element both to stability of the mind and not doing stupid things or getting emotionally hyped up and regretting what was said because of a false ego rant or something similar. Our happiness relies totally upon ourselves and if you think otherwise there will be a long wait at the "happiness shop" for it to really emerge. Whilst material or emotional ties can give us a degree of happiness it is fleeting in that once it arrives there will always be a new horizon that needs to quench that inner desire. Our comfort zone is an area which we control totally, so the bottom line for our lives is up to us.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2011

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