Thursday, 24 May 2012

MENTALLY HURTING

Everyone goes through a "down time" or two in their lives it's just the way it is, stuff happens, situations arise, outside circumstances change, parameters are no longer stable and whatever it is for us it affects us mentally over time. Initially it can be a shock or it can just escalate into something of its own making. What makes all of it even worse is that when it affects others they tend to react in ways that are seemingly 'out of character' although deep down such traits were possibly always there but until a certain moment of mayhem triggered them off lay dormant. Unfortunately when we are thrown into an alien situation, that the proverbial spanner is thrown into the works and the cogs come to an immediate grinding halt and there's that awful smell of heated metal, it throws us off guard too and even our own self is compromised. It renders our world almost incomprehensible in that we feel we are suddenly in a bubble and there is the world and us, it immediately opens up a temporary feeling of helplessness and it's a destabilising feeling and one that's both lonely, isolated and full of endless mind talk, ponderings and swimming with potential solutions which come and go like the tide itself.

Being mentally hurt not only affects our minds but our whole body too, it literally causes all sorts of aches and feelings of lethargy and takes away any impetus and desire to progress even though deep down this is what's needed and required. It's a strange feeling of isolation as you then look at everyone around you from a different perspective, it's not that they are right nor wrong but none hit the nail on the head as to the cause or any acceptable solutions as it's all a version brought to mind by others and missing detail, clarity, acumen and reality as to it all being feasible. Walking alone in the mist of every day or trying to find refuge for the mind and soul to regenerate is a feat in istelf, clutching on to self esteem and upholding the self virtue is an onward struggle against the endless mind chatter and debased status that lingers around. At times living is like a job in itself, something which cannot be explained to others nor does one want to anyway as it's all so exasperating and infuriating and like juggling with knives, one false move and that's it. Nothing fatal but yet another wound to add to the rest already there and one wound more is one feels the last straw on the camels back. But it's not.

When the mind is circulating in an near overload capacity tempers are quick to emerge, one's self cool is permanently being tempered and restricted otherwise an outburst will flare up and the self regrets will be more than the outburst itself. Where life has two sides the good and the bad where once there wasn't a demarcation line, now there is, where there are those for you and against you where once there wasn't such a thing, where narrow mindedness and understanding have taken opposite corners, and where everything said and done has to be accounted for both within and without. It's a solitary world that spins on its own axis and days and seasons merge into one as if the future is but a dark corridor of dampened potential that holds little hope, although at times hope is all that is seemingly left. But the good news is that it does all change, and like everything that's time related it does become a memory, it becomes part of the past where it's rightfully been consigned. Those intangible events now have solutions, those impenetrable areas of impregnable thought have but dissolved into a new and different understanding. The fears have melted away in a state where new parameters exist and base lines have a new and brighter stance. Where turmoil has given in to a happier resolution that all can join in and take part in a camaraderie that's been absence for so long.

Life regeneration is happening to everyone, but it's only when we take it on board do we find that it actually works, for 'letting go' elevates us from the 'now stranglehold' and breaks those invisible but ugly ties that have for so long been draining the inner self like a vampire constantly flying around looking for blood. When one frees up the 'self' there isn't anything that can touch it as it rebounds all the negativity from those that throw it around trying to gain points and ground at the expense of small and narrow mindedness, this all whithers away and becomes futile. The seemingly unfairness of life isn't what it is, we have no guarantees nor templates, it's us humans that react accordingly and do what we do rightly or not. But everything has its season, its time, and then it fades as other things take over with renewed ground and it's this hope and knowledge that will spur the ability to keep going despite the perceived onslaught in life. The hidden 'enemy' of unreason that listens to  no one but itself dies by its own hand. It all fades away and it is then that one realises that what was something of an ongoing turmoil is now a past memory as life has moved on and better things are being enjoyed.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
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