Saturday 21 August 2010

A DYING ROMANCE

It's come to this, the end is in sight yet you just don't want to let go for fear of the nothingness and the void, and the emotionally charged memories, the trinkets and the shared moments which will all of a sudden have a different meaning. The thought of the other person, their little foibles, their smell, their noises, their habits their funny ways, it's the end of the ride, all change, please take your baggage with you when you leave. The consternation  that it all brings, the feelings of the self being "free" from the responsibility and the morality of sharing a part of someone else's life, and they yours. And unless the romance has some acrimonious aspect to it, it's all rather pitiful and sorry. It's a tax on the emotions and it's a stain on life too, it affects daily life and it's a constant thought forever regurgitating itself and extricating itself from the reality of the deed to happen or just happened for whatever reason. Sometimes relationship just run out of steam especially those that are  or were an affectionate convenience, which tends to happens to youger people at university and the like, rather than the real love aspect, although many don't know the difference. You've just got to see celebrities playing the game of "happy families" run concurrently with "Snakes and Ladders" where snakes are the predominant feature, or is it "spot the braincell".

Relationships are as peculiar as people themselves and it is what makes each other tick that is the most important aspect, what others think and feel is of no concern nor any one's business either. There are too many backseat drivers and armchair critics as well as stupid bored and nosy family members who are the biggest failures themselves. The most important aspect of life is giving your all, for if you don't then failure is an aspect awaiting to happen. If you can't give then you can't win, it's as simple as that. Having said that relationships are of varying qualities it's not the proverbial 50/50 split it can be 70/30 or 60/40 or 90/10, it can be whatever it is that adds up to 100%, and it's all that personal too. What works works, it's when conditions emerge or the word "I" starts to crop up more often or "I need my space" or anything like that, once the "Us" and "We" reverts back to the "I" and "Me" then it's almost time to call it a day or that day is on the cards even if you can't quite see it. How intimate or aloof others see you from outside towards each other is only an outward appearance, it's what it means to both parties that spells success.

Age has a great deal to do with how we perceive life, the younger we are the more important aspects of life are as we anticipate endless years ahead. As we get older a degree of companionship is relatively important and if a relationship does break down it does not necessarily mean that either party are bad people. Companionship is very important to everyone to give the self a feeling of worth, value, mental stability and purpose, the human condition needs to share even the self centred and selfish need to share some aspect of life even if at times it appears it's all a "one way event". Mentally and emotionally bruised, battered, torn, depleted, anxious, weary, tired, listless, just plain 'out of it' are the feelings and emotions that hit home when we come the end of the line and all need to leave and change platform. It is a void that only time will heal, but time is a great healer and for many a regained composure, life, and even relationship on a different level is very possible as we are good at re-inventing ourselves in such circumstances. It's only the "poor old me" attitude that self-buries us in a pit of pity that eventually rots our inner self until it's all too late.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

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