It's amazing when you ask people whose life they are living, their retort is 'mine' and it's said with a degree of aplomb. Yes talk to them a little more and the conversation, regardless of it's content, starts to include others that by default play a role either by design or default that influence what they do and say. Of course we don't live in isolation and yes we do have significant others that we gladly take on board and meld our ways with to incorporate them as they do with us, it's called 'getting on with others''. Our focus on life at times goes astray in that we feel the need to both steer our own course and at the same time please others as that can give us a sense of achievement and acknowledgement, part of the 'feel good factor'. But the reality of all this is false because others then take you for what you give out whether it's done consciously or not, and if not careful it can get out of hand very quickly. It is at moments like this that when it gets out of hand we feel that we are taken advantage of or it all doesn't feel right or others get a wrong impression of how we are and we don't like that, even though it is us that has instigated it all ourselves.
Sometimes it is the little things in life that get to us, rather than the larger things that we tend to cope with and get to the bottom of without too much trouble. A self conscious attitude usually stops us making an issue out of the small things in life. If others do make an issue we even feel they are being picky or small minded and judge them differently. At times life is what it is, we have to make a compromise and do what we have to do even if it's not basically ideal, even within what we would like. Needs must and doing something is always better than doing nothing. Life is full of conduits so we can make a leap forward to an amazing array of places just by meeting people in certain areas and be receptive to whatever it is they have to offer. We should be open to possibilities from the most unlikely sources and never pre-judge based upon outward views.
There are in life plenty of people who on the side lines will give you advice as to what to do and where to go. Whether it' is well meant or not it all comes from their perspective which is not yours. One thing you must never do is ask or take advice from anyone who has aspirations less than your own, as it will always be below par and full of their own insecurities and fears. By all means listen, but if it doesn't resonate with you, move on. Unfortunately there are even those who may not even wish you to succeed as it would to their mind put themselves in a bad light. Even professional advisers can get it wrong, again everything comes from their perspective and that could ultimately produce something that one dreads doing and provides no upliftment and ultimately disappointment. There are no magic wands in life even though at times some have those proverbial 'lucky breaks. Either way you have to walk the walk and talk the talk. 
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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012
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