Monday, 30 April 2012

KINDNESS

We all like to think that we are kind at least to some extent and quickly judge others who we see as "not so kind" but not necessarily mean either. Meanness falls into a category all of its own as it has both deep inner meanings and thoughts as well as exterior repercussions.

The dictionary definition of kindness is :-
"Kindness is the act or the state of being kind, being marked by good and charitable behaviour, pleasant disposition, and concern for others. It is known as a virtue, and recognised as a value in many cultures and religions."
And it further states as an addendum :-
Analysts warn that 'real kindness changes people in the doing of it, often in unpredictable ways. Real kindness is an exchange with essentially unpredictable consequences'.

Kindness is good in every area even if it's not received as such that's not important and if we get upset because what we thought was an act of kindness on our part and it was almost thrown back in our face, then it's still an act of kindness and we should be uplifted accordingly. If we expect a fanfare of gratitude than it says even more about us than the ungrateful who didn't acknowledge the deed of kindness, even though it's nice and the humanitarian aspects of receipt of acknowledgement are always nice to receive. At times we can do kind deeds that have far reaching positive consequences yet know nothing about what our deed has done to many people in their plight of one sort or another.

Most people who are kind have certain traits within, it's not being philanthropic as that's something that is done because it can be done but on a different scale and has different values even if the deed of philanthropy is awesome, as it can be. Many elderly people with wealth often find that they need to "at last" do something meaningful with their accumulated finances and thankfully it is usually put to very good use. But there is a difference as philanthropists can also be mean and not very kind as their inner ideal has been to both view and account for their deeds and often feel the need to see in others in such a light of worthiness based upon their perceptions and feelings. People tend to be predominantly "kind" as people although there are those who just have the odd kind thought or deed now and again but it's usually based on something contrived with them being in the loop or that they know they are going to get very positive and effusive feedback which ups their ego and self esteem etc.

Kind people are usually less judgemental, less abrasive, more understanding, have a better global vision about the bigger picture, are more humble, creative, less stressed and far more stable than those who are not kind, they tend to have more friends - real friends, have more opportunities avail themselves, see more potential and can actually have better health too. Whereas less kind people even business moguls are more dedicated to themselves at whatever cost, and forever put themselves in the "me, me, me," seat in life, even when it comes to giving it has to have a self kudos in their worthiness stakes. Of course kindness isn't financial in many cases it's a giving of your time, knowledge, experience, ability, just listening to those in distress, doing a deed, being thoughtful, helping someone, etc etc, it's the deed of thought and ability over and above self value, which at times goes against cold logic. It's putting yourself out without the "why should I" which many harbour and perpetually find themselves unhappy. There are consequences for the selfless things we do in life and the selfish things we do in life.

Kindness forms an easier pathway in life, people help kind people more than those who show no personal give or movement. And contrary to general thinking kindness is a strength as to not being taken advantage of whereas those staunch bastions of the self get caught out by greed and possibilities of getting something for nothing or free, which is usually a con. Companies are judged upon kindness what is perceived that they do as a value for clients as opposed to pay, pay, pay, service where greed is God and eventually the service is overtaken by competitors because of the absence of the value / kindness factor leaves clients feeling used. We attract around us people who reflect ourselves, so if the majority of our 'real' friends are greedy or mean then we are of that make up too, there are always exceptions but by and large our comfort factors are what makes us decide what's what often over logic unless vast amounts of finance are involved then circumstances play a part, but it still doesn't rest easy with us. Kindness is a choice, like everything we do and say, so it says a lot about us that kindness is inherent or it isn't. Kindness has positve benefits selfishness has negative attributes, you will know yourself which ones you mostly attract.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
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