Wednesday, 21 March 2012

BEING ADULT ABOUT LIFE

So many arguments are caused by juvenile thoughts and pure selfish feelings. The majority of relationship breakdowns are because of selfishness more than anything else oh, and of course a real lack of true love. We talk about love quite a lot there are films and TV programmes splattered all around us about love stories usually those that go wrong as hysterical drama can be interjected in to it. Happy endings rarely move an audience even if a few tears are shed towards the end. Do we know what real love is all about once the initial infatuation calms down and life starts to wash away the clouds of bliss as the odd storm brews up in the distance? Do we look differently at our partner and think they could be better or do better or that we haven't after all that much in common for the long run?  Of course these are failings in us and our ego and our attitude and our self esteem and the self itself, it's usually about our own self that we let ourselves down terribly with, not someone else, although we don't usually like to admit it. Our temperament can be up and down like a yo-yo and thus we have mood swings that reflect that up and down feeling as we tend to let everyone know for that subliminal cry for attention to try and zest things up again. It rarely works as after a while everyone knows you for who and what you are, which doesn't mean you are a bad person nor anything else, just dull and predictive. We can also be forever analytical which then removes much of what life is all about as we tend then to miss the crux of what it really all means and the nuances that can't easily be categorised.

Alternatively we can can be one of those self created morons that is politically correct, and there is no legislation pertaining to such so it's a self made stance which means you are dancing on dangerous ground as it's all based upon your perception not the reality of others. If you harbour political correctness as a means of moving forward the chances are you won't, as you'll forever be frightened to speak your mind or allow others to do the same so nothing predominantly happens. It's often a failure mentality and depicts one of lesser strength, if others get upset then let them deal with it, it's not for to you offer yourself as some self proclaimed bastion of society that no one wants and in the process holding everyone back. Understanding the bigger picture is always a good thing yet few ever do they never rise to that thought process yet then wonder why they are forever in the doldrums seeing life as an obstacle in itself and not fair and wallowing in the detritus because they can never seem to float to the surface.

Selfishness is a pre-cursor to many problems in life, loneliness, lack of relationships and commitment, mental instability, distrust, unhappiness, warped thoughts, self denial, fear of spending too much time with others - no matter how close they may be. Zealously enhanced distance relationships via email, Facebook, Twitter or other social media platform, quirkiness, fragmented life, etc, it's all to do with an almost pivotless sense of me, me and of course me. We have options and choices so we take the route that we think is applicable to us, rightly or wrongly who knows. Nothing is without consequences good or not so good, and in the overall view it matters not to others as it's our own personal life and we migrate towards those that share our view and personality even if it is from afar and see only small chunks we empathise with. Actually living in close proximity with our distant contacts could lead to everything we like about someone come toppling down in an instant such is our cultivated relationship that even if deeply motivated and concurrent on many topics is never the less fragile in context.

Understanding ourselves and not trying to think another way over the reality of whom we are makes for a greater understanding and a degree of increased happiness as we know why things are as they are and not ponder upon such variables then wonder why, again brushing over on the reality side of events. Our "love walk" should see us through, for where our "love walk" is evident so is that little voice telling us what is right or not so, and yes we do have "override" we can latch on to, but override is just that and it's tantamount to to lying to ourselves, which is the last thing we should do. We can hypothesise until the day we die yet it won't change the truth even if we don't really want to believe there is one. We can try and be another Peter Pan and pretend that we are not getting older and that life in the main is for others, but it isn't, we are part of getting old and life does zoom by even if our Dorian Grey attitude temporarily makes us feel better. At some stage everything comes home to roost and at some stage we look upon life and not see what we have done but where are we now, for that is where we live and breath.

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John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012