Wednesday, 14 December 2011

KINDNESS

Kindness, although it's a nice word in itself rarely gets people motivated as a headline even though it has positive connotations, it's usually the negative connotations or descriptions that start to fire the inner nerve endings and make people sit up or take note just in case it applies to them. Ironically too most people think they are kind to some large degree which is understandable because if the self thought that kindness in some part was missing what does it say of themselves and what they are like. What is kindness and what does it mean, has it bigger or larger implications other than just being used as a 'nice' word against some deed or thought or situation lead by others. And why is it that kindness seems to ooze out of some people and there's barely as sign of it in others, and why is it that some companies seem to have it as part of their culture - and predominantly do well, than those companies which  are seemingly cold, aloof and heartless. We may not make a big deal of kindness because we know it exists and what it is but we sure know when there is an absence of it, it really makes us stand up and take note of the situation or person we are with or talking to, and it makes us ponder and at times dwell on the feeling we have just encountered.

Kindness is linked to selfishness, and unfortunately society is becoming more and more selfish, everyone looking after themselves and keeping it that way. Now there's nothing wrong in any shape or form about looking after yourself, because if you can't who else can, and taking ownership is paramount today in our disposable society, so it's an admirable thing to do. But where it tends to go wrong is where we have a fixation on possessions and that often by default leads us into a state of anxiety, apprehension and instability. If we live on the edge with regards our money then we will in effect have a permanent feel of anxiety behind us because we can't pay it back, so it's almost a mental toothache taking the edge off of everything we do forever. When our focus isn't even it's swayed towards the self unduly "I must have, I want, I need, I'm not, why should I, they can't, I'm not going to, etc" so that deeds and acts of kindness tend then to be manipulative in that they are done for a technical reason rather than from the heart or perhaps a philanthropic position. When life becomes regimented and linear one loses the ability to love proficiently, smile, enjoy camaraderie, in fact one becomes almost a 'social exile' and again that leads to states of depression , anxiety, self abuse, lack of respect, becoming judgemental, bitchy, arrogant, cynical, and you know all the others too so no point in going further.

Furthermore, being religious doesn't mean you are a good person either nor does it mean you are kind, often religious organisations are havens for all sorts of weird and desperate people who can't seem to get along with others or a refuge for drop outs and anyone else who has 'gone their own way', including their own staff. And it's not that religious organisations are necessarily bad either, many do sterling work, but kindness doesn't have a specific home with a specific credential other than linked to the self, whoever that may be and no matter who or what they are. Kindness is even a step beyond philanthropy, it's almost a heart to heart deed that touches a real depth of humanity because it can not because it's deemed expedient nor has there to be any reciprocal benefit. Often deeds of kindness are done anonymously which for some is hard to do as they need to feel some degree of awe and gratitude in return for what they did, it's nice yes but it's not a credential of kindness. Kindness has a massive calming effect, it stabilises beyond measure, it repels aggression and allows tension to just wash off, it heals the inner self promotes both sleep and feelings of well being, it's creative and allows others to interact without initial consultation, because the good feeling is transmitted. Goodness has the effect of attracting same, and the degree of goodness attracts a similar feeling from others, so work it out for yourself your kindness ratio from zero to a hundred. If you think everyone is of a certain disposition or predominantly so, then it's more than an observation it's a reflection of where it resides within you, and how you deal with it is paramount to your own enjoyment in life.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2011